Wholly Committed

Tonight I went to a bible study at my home church.  They are working on a study by Chip Ingram called Living on the Edge. Dare to Experience True Spirituality.  The topic tonight was about what God wants the most from us.  The answer?  Complete surrender.

One of the questions asked was, "What is your biggest barrier to complete surrender?  Is there anything that keeps you from saying 'I'm all in'? Or for those of you who are all in, what was the number one fear that kept you from surrendering to Christ?"  I was the youngest person in the room by at least 20 years, and most of the answers that came from the other attendees had to do with being selfish, and wanting to maintain control over their lives.  This is what I wrote:

What if I fail?

 Sure, I worry about having to give up things I like to do, or living in a comfortable home, but the thing that holds me back most of the time is failure.  What happens if I royally screw something up?  I chose, many years ago, to give my life fully to Christ and let him take the reins.  Human nature, my sinful nature, has tried to take the reins back at many different stages.  But what I have to learn is that I can't take back what I've already given... it's more like a little struggle.. which generally ends with me landed in the mud, with a wheel stuck.  At which point I choose to walk away for a while to clear my head and decide what I'm going to do.

The thing is, if we were all perfect, if we never failed and never did anything wrong, we would not know God's grace.  We wouldn't know the love of being welcomed back into the arms of the Father, and we wouldn't see mercy up close and personal.  The cross wouldn't hold any meaning, and the resurrection of our Saviour would be pointless.  But we do make mistakes. Every. Single. Day.  Little ones, big ones, green ones, purple ones.  It's how we respond to our own mistakes, and what we choose to do with the consequences and our actions that bring us closer to the Lord.  I'm a real-life, messy all the time, beautiful, loud {you may not believe it, just ask my mother.. the good Lord gave me lungs}, and sometimes crazy girl.  I say stupid things, hold stupid grudges, sing at the top of my lungs and don't pick up my clothes.  I hit the snooze button a minimum of 5 times every morning, and struggle within myself to do the right thing and choose God over convenience and/or laziness.  In fact, I'm still struggling to open my Bible.  Right now.  Pray for me?  We are called "The children of God" for a reason.  When we choose to be a part of this family we have to relearn everything.  Walking isn't just one foot in front of the other anymore.  Now it includes our spiritual feet.   Talking isn't just about voicing our opinion, and communicating that we need to eat or sleep.  We now have to learn to use our voice to pray, worship, and lift each other up.  Learning now encompasses places that we cannot see, and events that have not taken place yet.  Interesting how you don't hear "The teenagers of God" or "The adults of God"..... Nobody wants to grow up, right?  This is the perfect time to really embrace our childhood and relearn everything from the ground up.  Literally.