continued...Important Things

1. My relationship with Jesus
     1a.  Updating my prayer notecard every week
     1b.  Savoring my quiet time every morning.
     1c.  Giving thanks
     1d.  Spend more time in meaningful worship.
2. Sleep
     2a.  Get 8 or more hours of sleep a night
3. School
     3a.  Use my planner
     3b.  Catch up on reading (...I have a lot)
     3c.  Start studying for finals/midterms...NOW!!
     3d.  Study for map quizzes/current events before Wednesday night.
     3e.  Catch up on math homework. 
4. Eating Healthy
     4a.  Plan meals!
     4b.  Incorporate more fruits and veggies!!
     4c.  Drink more water!
5. Relationships with roommates/siblings/family/friends
     5a.  Spend quality time with the people I love, and work on nurturing precious relationships.  

Right now, these are the important things... here are some extras though

1.  Simplifying the stuff in my life...(In fact, this weekend my bedroom is getting a makeover...as in everything not necessary or deemed unnecessary is either going in the trash or to Goodwill. I am blessed to have the best roommate in the world who has told me in no uncertain terms that she's helping me this weekend.  I've been out of control lately....and it shows in the most interesting places)
2.  Thinking before I react and before I open my mouth.


This weekend my goal is to catch up on mostly everything on my list.  I've been traveling or had company for the last month, so it will be nice to have a weekend with no agenda!!!

Have a blessed Friday!

Kaitlynn Marie :)

The Important Things in Life

Some of you know about my departure from Facebook.  Today marks the 5 month anniversary of my facebook-free life!  Do you want to know the truth?  I haven't missed it at all.  In fact I think on the first of June I'm going to delete it. 

At this stage in my life I'm really trying to filter through everything I choose to put my time and energy into.  Facebook was the first to be cut, and it won't be the last.  Not only am I moving into the process of filtering the activities I participate in, but also the things that fill up my space (aka bedroom/domain/theplacewhereeverythingmagicallygetslostinablackhole)  Do I really need 25 t-shirts? (Okay, that's a rough guess.... but it's somewhere around there)  Do I really have a need for 30 pens/pencils, books, notecards, movies, everything.

Where do you draw the line?  Or more importantly, where has God already drawn the line?  What are the things that I have to choose to give up so that I can be in the place God wants me?
How are the things that I choose to put into my life affecting how I react to life?  When something happens, how do I react?  How do the things I surround myself effect how I react?   I think that these are relevant questions,  hard questions, and they're worth digging into.

I heard the song What Do I Know of Holy on the radio this morning on my way to school.  It really made me stop and think.  What do I know of Holy?  All I know is that I'm a small town girl who is still figuring out how to live by faith every. single. day. 

Thank about it:  What in your life needs to be thrown out, sold, handed-down, or simply sorted through?  Is it your closet, your diet, habits, or just your relationship with Jesus that needs to be re-evaluated?  Take some time this week to really sit down and think it through, then act.  Do something about it. 

I went through my closet this week.  I donated 10 shirts, a pair of pants, and a pair of shorts that I don't wear very often.  Simple, yet it makes such an impact. 

Girl's Weekend

I'm super excited.  In about 4ish hours I will be on the road headed East to the middle of nowhere. :)  With two friends, our cowboy boots, and lots of warm clothes.  
This weekend is my roomate's family branding.  I got to go last year and had a fantastic time!!!  Tomorrow morning bright and early we have 200 head of cattle to vaccinate, tag, and castrate if necessary. (It's just the girls going this year...I'm sure we'll be put on vaccination duty again :)  We can't get in much trouble there ;) )
I'm excited for a fun-filled weekend of family, friends, ranching, and the beautiful outdoors.  It'll be interesting to see how God chooses to work this weekend, and to see what we all have to learn.
Have a wonderful weekend!

Pray

It's the very least we can do in light of what's going on in Washington right now.

here, here, and here are some links with information. 

Learning is something that never fades away...

It's spring break.  The one week interlude that is a haven for college students around the world.  I've been home this week...reading.  Reading is what I do.  It is part of what defines me.  I am a read-er.  Some say that it ruins my eyes, others that a book can't change a life.  OH, how I disagree. 

What is the one single book that has sold the most copies throughout time? 
What book, translated into countless languages has stood the test of time?
The BIBLE.

My roommate and I are on a journey.  For the past 55 days (and for the next 35) we have been issued a challenge to read through the Bible.  In it's entirety.  90 days.  3 months.  Can it change a life?  I know it already has.

Beginning this week, as I stay in the home of my parents, I am loathe to say that I forgot our challenge.  Not a single thought entered my mind of what and Who I should be dedicating my morning, noon, and nights to.  And then, a quiet whisper.  All came rushing back.  This spring break doesn't have to be like the others.. It doesn't have to be like previous Christmas breaks that I felt my heart aching.  This one can be different. 

And so I'm reading.  I've had much to catch up on the past two days, and much to reflect on in my heart.  I love the quiet, small things that God uses to shift our world. 
Like I said, I'm a reader.  I read: books, blogs, instructions, recipes... It's how I think best, with a book in my hand.  So along with my catching up on God's Word, I decided to also dive into words that He guided others to write...Fiction.

I'm a reader...specifically I enjoy historical, Biblical fiction.  Before I left my small college town for this break, I ventured to the library and borrowed 7 books.  Four have been read before, checked out to again discover the journey of those who've walked before us.  Within the books, I have found two jewels that in the past I simply passed over.  For whatever reason, I never gave them a chance. 
The A.D Chronicles by Bodie & Brock Theone

It's amazing how a book can help you to remember the things you always knew.  As the old adage goes, "Out of sight, out of mind."  My question is 'how can I keep these things daily in my mind?'  I think I know the answer. 

8  Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.9  The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

~Philippians 4:8-9

My daily walk will most assuredly look different than yours.  I am a reader you see, and so I must read to remember at times.  I must surround myself with those things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and of good repute.  I need to SEE the truths of the prophets, of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  I need to READ today, tomorrow, and forever the commandments that El'Elyon handed down to Moses.   I am of the flesh, and I quickly forget.  I am like the Israelites who time after time after time forgot the miraculous wonders that El Shaddai did for them... I like them forget that the Lord led us out of Egypt.  So how can I remember?  Surrounding myself with words is my goal.  Words to read.  Words to cause me to remember, and to for eternity be able to draw up in my times of need, of sorrow, of wandering in the desert, in times of peace, and in times of stillness. 
It's not just about walking through this life, it's about walking with a purpose.

Can I become a child again?  Can I travel back to the time when I sat in AWANA every Monday night and faithfully committed His Words to heart?  Can I find those Words again, buried underneath the rubble of life?  Only tomorrow, and the days following will tell for sure. 
And so this path, this life, this walk, continues.  Bending and twisting my path may be, but I find comfort in the fact that I do not walk in the darkness.  I walk in the Light of the One who came to save the world. 

Joy: In God's Will

Now that I've shared about my change in career paths, I'll share with you what has been going on in the time since then!

In September I changed my major to General Agriculture.  I felt that God was leading me there, and everything made sense and fit into place!  I can see now part of what God was doing. (I don't dare even think that I know everything God was doing.. remember.. this is GOD we're talking about.  Omnipotent, omnipresent.. yeah, you get the picture..)  One of the general requirements for Gen Ag is that you take Animal Science 121, which is just Introduction to Animal Science.

I don't think I can comprehend how much I have truly enjoyed this class!  The lectures are so full of information, and the lab.  Oh the labs!  Practical, hands on experience with everything we cover in class!  Because of my time spent in 4-H/FFA growing up, as well as just living in a small ranching community, and my time spent devouring books over the course of my life, I can definitely say that I went into ANS121 with a basic, broad knowledge of most of the livestock species we were going to talk about.

Let me tell you that I have enjoyed every. single. lab.

Going into class, I knew that swine was not my favorite subject.  My siblings raised pigs in 4-H, and one of my best childhood friends had a pig farm... They're just not my favorite!   The pig lab (which just means we went to the pig facility owned by University during lab) took place after God spoke to me about my new path in life.  It just amazes me how He orchestrates every single little detail!  I drove to lab with a knot in my stomach.  I was sure that I wouldn't enjoy it, and that it would be the only lab to date that I didn't like.

The Lord's ways are not the ways of man.  To that I say hallelujah!  At the beginning of every lab, we spend about 30 minutes with business stuff: taking roll, going over terminology, filling out lab books, identifying tools, etc.  It amazed me how much of the information I actually knew, and how many questions I was able to answer.  Finally moving into the first facility, (Coincidence that it was the sows that had new litters?  Good thing I don't believe in coincidences!) I smiled and watched the little piglets nurse and sleep.  When we finally got to the pigs that will be sold as 4-H animals this spring, I was actually having a pretty good time!  My TAs like to do 'activities' in every lab.  The activity for this lab? Pig herding..  :)

Overall, I want to share with you the absolute joy I felt coming out of the lab!  I know that it was a joy that came from the Lord.  He opened my eyes to see that all are His creation. 

Once again, it amazes me how our Awesome God uses the instances we least expect to bring us closer to Him!

Sacrifices

This blog has always been about my walk with the Lord, and so here I am pleased to share with you the latest discovery of the path that He wants me to take. 
{He leads me beside the still waters!}
------

I can't believe that it's already week 8 of winter term here in the pacific northwest.  Time has flown by so fast!  These eight weeks have been good weeks.  Through them I have begun to discover a little more about where my life is headed, and I've been growing closer and closer to God.

About four weeks ago, we participated in a week of prayer and fasting at our church.  Mar and I attend a Calvary Chapel, and the week of prayer and fasting has been going on for a while now.. although I'm not sure exactly how long! Some people haven't ever heard of fasting ( or they don't think it's possible to not eat for 7 days ), some people think it's just weird, and others (most being "Christians") just don't understand.  I don't want to get into all of the reasons and aspects of it, but here is a helpful link if you'd like to pursue learning more about it. 

During the week of fasting, God met me in a very special way.  It continues to amaze me how our Big God who created the universe with a single command chooses to reveal Himself to us in a sweet, small voice.  One of the themes of the week for me was "being broken and poured out".  God really wanted to get across to me how it displeases Him that I rely on myself for a lot of things.  He showed me how He wanted to be the One filling me up and overflowing me.  I've struggled in the past with not feeling like I'm "good enough", but once again the Lord has provided.  During one day, in the midst of my quiet time, the Lord spoke to me and told me that I am going to be a veterinarian.  W.o.w.  It wasn't an audible voice, it wasn't a text message, it was me seeking His face, and He answering through the communication of hearts.

I prayed for about 3 hours that day (I don't think I had class....) and asked God to show me what that was going to look like.  I asked Him for open doors, and for people to be raised up around me in support!  I cannot count the times since then that the Lord has reestablished a deep knowing in me that this is what He wants me to do!  Through speakers at my college group, worship sessions, church, house church, my parents, Mar, advisers... it goes on and on.

For those of you who don't know me very well, I'll lay it down straight for ya.  My goal since I knew I was coming to college was to come, get a degree as fast as possible, meet my husband, and then go on my merry way.  That was my goal still until 4 weeks ago.  The Lord has chosen to make my life about veterinary science...for those of you who don't know.. you have to have a bachelors to get into vet school (4ish years)..and vet school is either a 3 or 4 year program, depending on the school...  This is just another point where I am absolutely confident that the this is what the Lord wants me to do.  I have never wanted to go into medicine (although I've always loved animals, and being a vet was a dream of mine as a little girl.  unfortunately, my sister also wanted to be a vet..so I said I wanted to be a teacher.. haha). 

Vet school requires a high GPA, which is something that at the moment, I don't have.  I had a term last spring that, well..I'll just say it won't happen again.  It won't happen again because now I have a goal, and I have the assurance of a God who will not leave me throughout this process.  I know that He who planted the seed will come back to reap it!  The next 6 or 7 years of my life are going to be entirely devoted to God and Veterinary work.  Every single day for me will be a day of coming to the Lord and asking to be filled up.  I know that I cannot do this myself.  Just looking at all the classes I have to take, I know that they'll be a struggle.  But I know that this whole journey will be accomplished through the work of the Most High God. 

For that I am deeply thankful, and eternally humble.  He chose me! :)  Not qualified, not a 'farm girl' but at heart.  Rejoice for the Lord is good.  His love endures forever! 

Walking out in faith, taking that first step, is always the hardest.  But if it's God's will, it will ultimately be the most rewarding!  What is God trying to show you or tell you today that you haven't been willing to hear in the past? 

Mathew 7:7-
"Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you."

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still water.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.


Three weeks ago, this Psalm became personal.  Instead of being an observer, a reader....I was the sheep.  For those that don't know, sheep are absolutely dependent upon humans.  Of all the domesticated animals, they are the only that are 100% reliant upon their masters for food, shelter, and safety.  If left alone in the wild, it would be nearly impossible for them to survive.  I am a sheep.  I'm a prey animal.  I am helpless.  I am needy.  I have the Loving Master as my shepherd.  He gave His life so that I could live.  I have nothing to fear.  I know that when The Shepherd leads me into the valley of the shadow of death, I have no reason to tremble in fright, for the Lord is with me. 

It's amazing how much more insight I have now on this much recited Psalm after working in the Sheep Center here.  I'm volunteering during the lambing season, and I see every time I go to work how dependent sheep are on their shepherds.  I, Katie, am their shepherd.  Why would I let them to suffer or go hungry or become cold?  The Lord says the same to us.  He doles out our food every morning and evening, and He loves us.  He cares for us, and spends time with us.  He knows our ways and what our favorite spot to scratch is. 

Be of good cheer, for the Lord God is with you. 

-Kaitlynn Marie

Who Will Love Me?

Continuing with the same theme from my post from last Wednesday, I think I've found some answers to the questions I've been asking.

Question #1 
How did I get to the place of work based faith?

Answer:
I've been thinking about this for the past few days, and it wasn't until I read this post  (along with the first 2 of the series, found in the second paragraph of the post)  this morning that everything became clear.  I started to listen to the trap of the enemy because I didn't think that anyone was listening to me. I realize that that seems backwards, but is our rationale ever rational when we go back and look at it?
  I needed to be  told that I am perfect and grand and wonderful just the way I am. 
I couldn't believe in myself because I saw the failure that I truly was.  I didn't need anyone telling me that I would do better next time or that indeed I had failed.  I'd already told myself that more than enough.  What I did need someone to tell me was that I am beautiful, and that a few grades on a piece of paper will not be the ruin of my life.  I needed someone to believe that I am great.
What if last June I had realized that someone was already telling me all those things?  What if I had stopped and stilled my heart to listen intently to the small, still voice that speaks?  I'll never know.
But because I turned away, I saw only the shadow of myself.

The brightness of the Lord was shining behind me, and I chose to instead have my pity-party.  

 I thought that no one cared enough to assure me that I was still okay.

 God wants you to know His radiance.  He wants you to bask in His presence.  He wants to warm you from the cold of winter with His light.

I think that this necklace says it all.  Perfectly.  

Question #2

Why did I find it so hard to pick up my Bible?

Answer:

I have a confession to make.  I don't think that I. Have. Ever. completed a Bible reading plan all the way through.  If I have, I don't remember it.  Okay, so I've never finished a Bible plan... and?  Does that make me a bad person?  Does that mean that I've failed a big test in life?  No. 

The thing that matters is that I did start them, and I did commit to reading the Bible multiple times.  Nowhere in the Bible does it talk about how reading through a Bible plan is the only way or the correct way of studying God's Word.  

Again, all I could see was my failure.  What I couldn't see was all that I really knew.  I spent years in the AWANA program at my church, and I have hidden much of God's Word in my heart.  I couldn't see past my selfishness to realize that indeed, I do remember the stories of my childhood.  

SO...what now? Now, I'm currently over halfway through The Essential 100 Challenge at YouVersion.  And when I finish, I have another picked out.  It doesn't matter to God how much I read each day, but that I read.   

Question #3

Why is it so hard to pray?

Answer:

Because of everything I've already said.  It was a struggle for me to pray, because I didn't think that I deserved to be able to.  Guess what?  I'm not.  But God's grace is limitless, and He sacrificed His son, so that He could have a relationship with me, and so that I could have a relationship with Him.

Prayer and getting out of the pity-party pit begins with humbling yourself before God and giving thanks.    
Starting out my morning by coming to God and simply thanking Him for the day that He's given to let me live is where it all begins.  Prayer without ceasing is what we're commanded to do.  That seems like a big task.  Well, that's because it is.  Instead of being immediately overwhelmed (like I used to get), I just start with the things before me.  

Thank you, Jesus for coffee, and for the energy that it gives me to get through early morning classes.

Thank you, Jesus that I have a house to live in and a car to drive.

Being humble and honest and open with my God is the only way that I can make it through the day.  As I converse with Him, generally people are brought to mind who I right then and there take the time to pray for.  As I'm walking to class, I pray for my school, my classes, and that I would be committed to my school work.  

God isn't seeking perfection or an A+ standard from anyone.  He's just asking that we share.  

  

p.s.

After writing this post I realized that this song says it all perfectly.

2011: A New Year

Blogging for me kind of died about half way through December.  What didn't die was this process of self-evaluation that I'm going through.  For the past month, I have been very challenged to look at my life and see all the "junk" and all of the room for improvement that there is.  Let me tell you that the list is about 50 miles long.  Sometimes I wonder how we get so pushed away from the things that are important, and the things that matter.  How did I get from point A to point B when I don't remember moving at all?  I guess that answer is one little itty bitty step at a time. 

Something I'm very thankful for is that along with the personal smack on the forehead, Katie you're way off track, God has been showing me something big. 

I guess when I really evaluate the last few months in my life, I can see a pattern of sorts.  I would do something, and then I would see that it wasn't right or good or anywhere in accordance with God's will... and I would get scared.  I would ask for God's forgiveness, but then it was like I would fall into a big pit of guilt.  I know in my heart that forgiveness = a clean slate.  That the sin that was forgiven is then thrown into the pit of fire, and forgotten about.  But, I guess my head wasn't following along.  Or maybe it was my head that knew the truth, but my feelings and emotions that weren't quite on track.  Either way, I spent a lot of time in selfish worry and spiritual pain for no reason.

Looking back now, it almost seems that I was trying to line up my life for God with "good works" or something.  The problem with that is, that good works won't get you anywhere.  Only a firm belief and faith in Jesus Christ will guarantee your place in Heaven.  I was unintentionally trying to do the "right thing" in order to get into God's good graces.  The problem with that is that God's grace is free.  All I have to do to receive it is ask for it, and it will be freely given.  I believe that Jesus died on that cross for my sins, and I have accepted Him into my heart.  That means that God's grace is big enough to just swallow me whole.

I will never do enough "good works" or "right things" to deserve Heaven.  I am not big enough or important enough or righteous enough to get anywhere near it.  But God can carry me there.  He can provide everything I'm going to need on the journey, like no one else on Earth can.  Grace is my word for the month, and my goal is to accept it every day.

In the end, I guess it was pretty much a pity-party that I was falling into everyday.  The sad thing is that I didn't even see the signs.  I should know that struggling to pick up my Bible every day, and not knowing what or even where to begin when I pray is a sign that I need to turn around and run straight to the Father.