We found out last week that my Papa's cancer does not involve a tumor or any lymph nodes! Praise the Lord! They decided to still go on their yearly trip to Hawaii, although this will be their last year.
In other good news I found out that I was accepted into a Youth With a Mission (YWAM) Discipleship Training School (DTS) in Townsville, Australia! I'll be going this October, and will be back in the States in March of 2014! I'm blogging about that over here.
Praying that you all had a safe and happy New Years!
Until next time,
Katie
Wednesday, January 2
Saturday, December 22
Hard Things in Life.
It's seems like it hasn't been that long since I've been here, but that's because I've thought about posting a lot... and just haven't done it. So welcome back.
Today my family received some very hard news. We found out that my grandfather (Papa) has cancer. It's in his breast, which is rare for men, and his doctor is going to operate to remove it somewhere around January 9th.
My Papa is the strongest, kindest, funniest man I know. It's from him that we get our music, although I'm sad to say I did not get his whistling gene! It upsets me that he has to go through this, but life if fleeting. I stayed with my grandparent's two weeks ago for a week and one night at dinner Gammy and Papa started talking about their childhoods and how things were different. We're talking no electricity or running water in their older sibling's homes. (They are both the babies of large families) I love to hear them talk and reminisce about an entire different world, a simpler world.
Right now we're praying that the cancer doesn't spread at all and that the doctor can remove everything during the surgery. I'm not ready for him to go anywhere. Although I know that I'll see him in heaven someday if his last day is anywhere in the near future. I want to make my grandparents great-grandparents, and I want my children to know my Papa. He's the best Papa in the world and has been there at every turn for me. It doesn't sound like the cancer is bad, but having a family member diagnosed is not something you ever imagine.
Hug your family tight this Christmas, I will be especially.
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you."
Jeremiah 29:11
Today my family received some very hard news. We found out that my grandfather (Papa) has cancer. It's in his breast, which is rare for men, and his doctor is going to operate to remove it somewhere around January 9th.
My Papa is the strongest, kindest, funniest man I know. It's from him that we get our music, although I'm sad to say I did not get his whistling gene! It upsets me that he has to go through this, but life if fleeting. I stayed with my grandparent's two weeks ago for a week and one night at dinner Gammy and Papa started talking about their childhoods and how things were different. We're talking no electricity or running water in their older sibling's homes. (They are both the babies of large families) I love to hear them talk and reminisce about an entire different world, a simpler world.
Right now we're praying that the cancer doesn't spread at all and that the doctor can remove everything during the surgery. I'm not ready for him to go anywhere. Although I know that I'll see him in heaven someday if his last day is anywhere in the near future. I want to make my grandparents great-grandparents, and I want my children to know my Papa. He's the best Papa in the world and has been there at every turn for me. It doesn't sound like the cancer is bad, but having a family member diagnosed is not something you ever imagine.
Hug your family tight this Christmas, I will be especially.
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you."
Jeremiah 29:11
Thursday, September 27
Wholly Committed
Tonight I went to a bible study at my home church. They are working on a study by Chip Ingram called Living on the Edge. Dare to Experience True Spirituality. The topic tonight was about what God wants the most from us. The answer? Complete surrender.
One of the questions asked was, "What is your biggest barrier to complete surrender? Is there anything that keeps you from saying 'I'm all in'? Or for those of you who are all in, what was the number one fear that kept you from surrendering to Christ?" I was the youngest person in the room by at least 20 years, and most of the answers that came from the other attendees had to do with being selfish, and wanting to maintain control over their lives. This is what I wrote:
The thing is, if we were all perfect, if we never failed and never did anything wrong, we would not know God's grace. We wouldn't know the love of being welcomed back into the arms of the Father, and we wouldn't see mercy up close and personal. The cross wouldn't hold any meaning, and the resurrection of our Saviour would be pointless. But we do make mistakes. Every. Single. Day. Little ones, big ones, green ones, purple ones. It's how we respond to our own mistakes, and what we choose to do with the consequences and our actions that bring us closer to the Lord. I'm a real-life, messy all the time, beautiful, loud {you may not believe it, just ask my mother.. the good Lord gave me lungs}, and sometimes crazy girl. I say stupid things, hold stupid grudges, sing at the top of my lungs and don't pick up my clothes. I hit the snooze button a minimum of 5 times every morning, and struggle within myself to do the right thing and choose God over convenience and/or laziness. In fact, I'm still struggling to open my Bible. Right now. Pray for me? We are called "The children of God" for a reason. When we choose to be a part of this family we have to relearn everything. Walking isn't just one foot in front of the other anymore. Now it includes our spiritual feet. Talking isn't just about voicing our opinion, and communicating that we need to eat or sleep. We now have to learn to use our voice to pray, worship, and lift each other up. Learning now encompasses places that we cannot see, and events that have not taken place yet. Interesting how you don't hear "The teenagers of God" or "The adults of God"..... Nobody wants to grow up, right? This is the perfect time to really embrace our childhood and relearn everything from the ground up. Literally.
One of the questions asked was, "What is your biggest barrier to complete surrender? Is there anything that keeps you from saying 'I'm all in'? Or for those of you who are all in, what was the number one fear that kept you from surrendering to Christ?" I was the youngest person in the room by at least 20 years, and most of the answers that came from the other attendees had to do with being selfish, and wanting to maintain control over their lives. This is what I wrote:
What if I fail?Sure, I worry about having to give up things I like to do, or living in a comfortable home, but the thing that holds me back most of the time is failure. What happens if I royally screw something up? I chose, many years ago, to give my life fully to Christ and let him take the reins. Human nature, my sinful nature, has tried to take the reins back at many different stages. But what I have to learn is that I can't take back what I've already given... it's more like a little struggle.. which generally ends with me landed in the mud, with a wheel stuck. At which point I choose to walk away for a while to clear my head and decide what I'm going to do.
The thing is, if we were all perfect, if we never failed and never did anything wrong, we would not know God's grace. We wouldn't know the love of being welcomed back into the arms of the Father, and we wouldn't see mercy up close and personal. The cross wouldn't hold any meaning, and the resurrection of our Saviour would be pointless. But we do make mistakes. Every. Single. Day. Little ones, big ones, green ones, purple ones. It's how we respond to our own mistakes, and what we choose to do with the consequences and our actions that bring us closer to the Lord. I'm a real-life, messy all the time, beautiful, loud {you may not believe it, just ask my mother.. the good Lord gave me lungs}, and sometimes crazy girl. I say stupid things, hold stupid grudges, sing at the top of my lungs and don't pick up my clothes. I hit the snooze button a minimum of 5 times every morning, and struggle within myself to do the right thing and choose God over convenience and/or laziness. In fact, I'm still struggling to open my Bible. Right now. Pray for me? We are called "The children of God" for a reason. When we choose to be a part of this family we have to relearn everything. Walking isn't just one foot in front of the other anymore. Now it includes our spiritual feet. Talking isn't just about voicing our opinion, and communicating that we need to eat or sleep. We now have to learn to use our voice to pray, worship, and lift each other up. Learning now encompasses places that we cannot see, and events that have not taken place yet. Interesting how you don't hear "The teenagers of God" or "The adults of God"..... Nobody wants to grow up, right? This is the perfect time to really embrace our childhood and relearn everything from the ground up. Literally.
Wednesday, September 26
Moving Forward
Tonight my momma and I got to pray together about some extended family issues. It's so good to be reminded through prayer of the strength of the Lord. He can accomplish anything.
I've been struggling with anger towards my sister. The past year has actually been very hard. She's made decisions that I don't agree with, and that I feel have disrespected our family and everything we stand for. But I'm reminded that her choices are her own. The only thing I can do is love her.
Momma and I have been watching One Tree Hill, and this quote is from season 9.
I've been struggling with anger towards my sister. The past year has actually been very hard. She's made decisions that I don't agree with, and that I feel have disrespected our family and everything we stand for. But I'm reminded that her choices are her own. The only thing I can do is love her.
Momma and I have been watching One Tree Hill, and this quote is from season 9.
"Love means giving chances when there are no more chances left to give."When I heard that I realized that at the end of the day, we will always be sisters. I can waste time being upset at the choices she's made, be mad at how she's treated me, but in the end it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I love her for who she is and pray that she finds the Lord. We always said that we wouldn't be like our parent's siblings. They hate each other and fight all the time, and it's painful. I refuse to get to that point. I don't know what my relationship with my sister is supposed to look like, but I know that I'm supposed to love her and pray for her. The rest I leave for the Lord.
Thursday, September 20
The Rift
Hello all,
It's been almost 6 months since I've posted here. Almost 6 months since I've entered this community of believers to find encouragement and strength. I can't believe it's been that long. I've drifted away from the Lord these past 6 months, and one of the only things that I've found encouragement in every day is the KLove Encouraging Word. Every time I hear the "tweet" on my phone and look to see what it is, there's been a sense of dread and guilt, but also one of longing. Every day the Lord has tried to reach me, and every day I've turned away. This summer has been a drifting one. One of traveling and almost non-stop working. Literally. My heart and my soul can't take this rift I've somehow created. Today, I'm reposting my last post. Because honestly, I don't remember writing it... and beyond that, it was written for me. So here is Faith, and praying that my journey will continue one step at a time.
Life... Lately
Faith [in God] must be whole hearted, unwavering, and stronger than death. You must have no reservations, and there's no turning back. Faith is how you honor the Lord every day. It's easy to trust the Lord in the good times, when everything is great and life seems easy. But where will you run, to whose arms will you go when the going gets tough?
I hope the answer is straight to the arms of the Loving Father. None of us are perfect. We all stumble and fall. We must get back up again. We must continue to fight for the Lord. I just finished the book The Warrior by Francine Rivers. The book is about Caleb. I don't think that I really understood his story before now. But then again, I don't think I was supposed to. God's timing is perfect in everything. In everything there is a purpose. For those of us who need a refresher, here's the rundown on Caleb.
Caleb was a distant relative of the tribe of Judah. He traveled from Egypt into the wilderness with the children of Israel when Moses led them out of captivity. When they finally reached the Promised Land, Caleb was chosen from the tribe of Judah to enter the land and scout it out. He and Joshua were the only two who came back and gave truthful reports of their 40 day journey. Because they were 2 out of 12 who spoke the truth, the Lord judged Israel and led them to wander in the desert for 40 years. Joshua and Caleb were the only two men from their generation to enter the Promised Land. It was because of their faith in the Lord to give to them what was already theirs.
There it is: faith. Caleb had to believe with every fiber of his being that the Lord was going to provide for them and hold true to His word and promises. He faced giants and perversion and nearly 1 million of his brothers and sisters who didn't believe. Yet, his faith was strongly secured in the Lord.
Life is so much harder than people make it out to be. Our youth have no idea what is waiting for them when they leave the halls of their high schools. Why? Is it because we don't want to burden them with the weight of the world when they are young? It is only a burden the Lord was supposed to carry. We've all heard the saying that ignorance is bliss. Yes, the not knowing is generally preferred. To the point that our society looks away from the abuse and mistreatment that so many peoples of our world face. They turn away from the fact that these people need Jesus just as much as you and me.
Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. What are your gifts? Are you passionate about music? Then share Jesus and the joy of music with those around you! Are you an advocate for education of all peoples? Then share it. Find an avenue to help educate people. Homeside or abroad! Maybe you're interested in agriculture. There are so many people who just need us to come alongside them and assure them that, yes they can do it. The hardest step is the one that takes you out your front door. It's the step that leads you to friends and family to share with them that you are going to do something. It's the one that scares me too. But faith is what we're called to, and faith is what the Lord will give us when He calls.
Life, as always, has ups and downs. I'm just trying to find the Lord in everything. It's hard. Really hard. But then again, we were never promised an easy life. Being Kingdom minded really puts a spin on things. It makes some things that didn't seem so important before shine, and the things that used to shine dull to a dark gray. I find that I don't get so overwhelmed when I live one moment at a time. What helps you keep your eyes on the Father?
Until next time,
Kaitlynn
Friday, March 23
Life...Lately
Faith [in God] must be whole hearted, unwavering, and stronger than death. You must have no reservations, and there's no turning back. Faith is how you honor the Lord every day. It's easy to trust the Lord in the good times, when everything is great and life seems easy. But where will you run, to whose arms will you go when the going gets tough?
I hope the answer is straight to the arms of the Loving Father. None of us are perfect. We all stumble and fall. We must get back up again. We must continue to fight for the Lord. I just finished the book The Warrior by Francine Rivers. The book is about Caleb. I don't think that I really understood his story before now. But then again, I don't think I was supposed to. God's timing is perfect in everything. In everything there is a purpose. For those of us who need a refresher, here's the rundown on Caleb.
Caleb was a distant relative of the tribe of Judah. He traveled from Egypt into the wilderness with the children of Israel when Moses led them out of captivity. When they finally reached the Promised Land, Caleb was chosen from the tribe of Judah to enter the land and scout it out. He and Joshua were the only two who came back and gave truthful reports of their 40 day journey. Because they were 2 out of 12 who spoke the truth, the Lord judged Israel and led them to wander in the desert for 40 years. Joshua and Caleb were the only two men from their generation to enter the Promised Land. It was because of their faith in the Lord to give to them what was already theirs.
There it is: faith. Caleb had to believe with every fiber of his being that the Lord was going to provide for them and hold true to His word and promises. He faced giants and perversion and nearly 1 million of his brothers and sisters who didn't believe. Yet, his faith was strongly secured in the Lord.
Life is so much harder than people make it out to be. Our youth have no idea what is waiting for them when they leave the halls of their high schools. Why? Is it because we don't want to burden them with the weight of the world when they are young? It is only a burden the Lord was supposed to carry. We've all heard the saying that ignorance is bliss. Yes, the not knowing is generally preferred. To the point that our society looks away from the abuse and mistreatment that so many peoples of our world face. They turn away from the fact that these people need Jesus just as much as you and me.
Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. What are your gifts? Are you passionate about music? Then share Jesus and the joy of music with those around you! Are you an advocate for education of all peoples? Then share it. Find an avenue to help educate people. Homeside or abroad! Maybe you're interested in agriculture. There are so many people who just need us to come alongside them and assure them that, yes they can do it. The hardest step is the one that takes you out your front door. It's the step that leads you to friends and family to share with them that you are going to do something. It's the one that scares me too. But faith is what we're called to, and faith is what the Lord will give us when He calls.
Life, as always, has ups and downs. I'm just trying to find the Lord in everything. It's hard. Really hard. But then again, we were never promised an easy life. Being Kingdom minded really puts a spin on things. It makes some things that didn't seem so important before shine, and the things that used to shine dull to a dark gray. I find that I don't get so overwhelmed when I live one moment at a time. What helps you keep your eyes on the Father?
Until next time,
Kaitlynn
I hope the answer is straight to the arms of the Loving Father. None of us are perfect. We all stumble and fall. We must get back up again. We must continue to fight for the Lord. I just finished the book The Warrior by Francine Rivers. The book is about Caleb. I don't think that I really understood his story before now. But then again, I don't think I was supposed to. God's timing is perfect in everything. In everything there is a purpose. For those of us who need a refresher, here's the rundown on Caleb.
Caleb was a distant relative of the tribe of Judah. He traveled from Egypt into the wilderness with the children of Israel when Moses led them out of captivity. When they finally reached the Promised Land, Caleb was chosen from the tribe of Judah to enter the land and scout it out. He and Joshua were the only two who came back and gave truthful reports of their 40 day journey. Because they were 2 out of 12 who spoke the truth, the Lord judged Israel and led them to wander in the desert for 40 years. Joshua and Caleb were the only two men from their generation to enter the Promised Land. It was because of their faith in the Lord to give to them what was already theirs.
There it is: faith. Caleb had to believe with every fiber of his being that the Lord was going to provide for them and hold true to His word and promises. He faced giants and perversion and nearly 1 million of his brothers and sisters who didn't believe. Yet, his faith was strongly secured in the Lord.
Life is so much harder than people make it out to be. Our youth have no idea what is waiting for them when they leave the halls of their high schools. Why? Is it because we don't want to burden them with the weight of the world when they are young? It is only a burden the Lord was supposed to carry. We've all heard the saying that ignorance is bliss. Yes, the not knowing is generally preferred. To the point that our society looks away from the abuse and mistreatment that so many peoples of our world face. They turn away from the fact that these people need Jesus just as much as you and me.
Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. What are your gifts? Are you passionate about music? Then share Jesus and the joy of music with those around you! Are you an advocate for education of all peoples? Then share it. Find an avenue to help educate people. Homeside or abroad! Maybe you're interested in agriculture. There are so many people who just need us to come alongside them and assure them that, yes they can do it. The hardest step is the one that takes you out your front door. It's the step that leads you to friends and family to share with them that you are going to do something. It's the one that scares me too. But faith is what we're called to, and faith is what the Lord will give us when He calls.
Life, as always, has ups and downs. I'm just trying to find the Lord in everything. It's hard. Really hard. But then again, we were never promised an easy life. Being Kingdom minded really puts a spin on things. It makes some things that didn't seem so important before shine, and the things that used to shine dull to a dark gray. I find that I don't get so overwhelmed when I live one moment at a time. What helps you keep your eyes on the Father?
Until next time,
Kaitlynn
Monday, February 20
Katniss Everdeen, The Girl On Fire
*Spoiler*
This post includes details about the entire Hunger Games series. Please do not read on if you haven't read the books, but wish to. Come back after you read them though! :)
Rereading the Hunger Games this weekend was an interesting experience for me. I generally remember books I read pretty well, but for some reason this series didn't stick with me. I remembered a few of the big details, but for the most part it was like reading them for the first time.
When I put down Mockingjay today there was still a trail of tears on my face, and I just sat there in the silence. I am so thankful that my God is real, that He never leaves me, and that even though life - real life - isn't lovey dovey and we don't usually get fairytale endings, He's always there. What really struck me was that Katniss and Peeta were only 16 when the horror of being reaped for the Hunger Games took place. They were 16 when they saw 22 other children killed around them. By their own hands or not. And then they're back in district 12, and just when everything seems as normal as it can be after being in the arena, everything takes another complete shift. These two "star-crossed-lovers" are reaped again. And now both Katniss and Peeta have volunteered for the Games. They are 17.
I physically hurt with the pain that Katniss feels through the whole ordeal. Her confusion, hurt, the betrayal she feels. The Mockingjay, the face of the rebellion is found alone most of the time. She spends a lot of her time running from everyone because reality is a nightmare, but her nightmares are even worse than reality. I can't imagine having to see almost everyone and everything she ever loved ripped away from her.
I imagine those reading these books that feel like Katniss do, and I pray that they know just how much the Lord loves them. I pray that they know they are not alone. When we feel alone is generally when the Lord really has picked us up and holds us close in His arms.
I'm amazed at the stark difference between our reality and Panem [the rubble of the U.S left behind after our nation falls]. More than that though my soul grieves for the utter despair that takes over a life that isn't founded in the Lord. Add to it that the whole country of Panem doesn't embrace any religion at all, and the sorrow is magnified a hundred fold. The greed of the few lucky to be born in the Capital, and the literal hunger and suffering of those born into places like District 12. But then I look at our world. Is it really so different? The Games remind me of the Arena in ancient Rome, with a sadistic, high-tech twist. Well even back then it was horrible.
Is our world today really so different in that the rich are the few, and a very large portion of the world is dying of hungry or disease, all things that we can fix - if we are willing to stand up and make a difference. We don't live in a place like Panem where contact with anyone outside of your district is forbidden, where you can't leave the perimeter that a select few have chosen for you. We have the freedom to use our money as we wish, to travel the world. So what holds us back? Lack of initiative? Are we waiting for someone like Katniss to spark a revolution? We shouldn't have to. We're commanded to take care of the poor, the widows, and those without clothes on their backs. A large part of the world seems to have forgotten though.
This series leaves me still with a lot to chew over. If you decided to read this post anyway without reading the books, I will say that yes there is a happy ending, the impossible happens and Katniss chooses who she will love. I won't say who though :)
I recommend reading them. Written in first person narrative first bugged me a lot, but you really get to think like The Girl On Fire. It fits her character.
And if you didn't already know, the Hunger Games comes out on the Big Screen 3-23-12. I'm going, are you?
-Katilynn Marie
This post includes details about the entire Hunger Games series. Please do not read on if you haven't read the books, but wish to. Come back after you read them though! :)
Rereading the Hunger Games this weekend was an interesting experience for me. I generally remember books I read pretty well, but for some reason this series didn't stick with me. I remembered a few of the big details, but for the most part it was like reading them for the first time.
When I put down Mockingjay today there was still a trail of tears on my face, and I just sat there in the silence. I am so thankful that my God is real, that He never leaves me, and that even though life - real life - isn't lovey dovey and we don't usually get fairytale endings, He's always there. What really struck me was that Katniss and Peeta were only 16 when the horror of being reaped for the Hunger Games took place. They were 16 when they saw 22 other children killed around them. By their own hands or not. And then they're back in district 12, and just when everything seems as normal as it can be after being in the arena, everything takes another complete shift. These two "star-crossed-lovers" are reaped again. And now both Katniss and Peeta have volunteered for the Games. They are 17.
I physically hurt with the pain that Katniss feels through the whole ordeal. Her confusion, hurt, the betrayal she feels. The Mockingjay, the face of the rebellion is found alone most of the time. She spends a lot of her time running from everyone because reality is a nightmare, but her nightmares are even worse than reality. I can't imagine having to see almost everyone and everything she ever loved ripped away from her.
I imagine those reading these books that feel like Katniss do, and I pray that they know just how much the Lord loves them. I pray that they know they are not alone. When we feel alone is generally when the Lord really has picked us up and holds us close in His arms.
I'm amazed at the stark difference between our reality and Panem [the rubble of the U.S left behind after our nation falls]. More than that though my soul grieves for the utter despair that takes over a life that isn't founded in the Lord. Add to it that the whole country of Panem doesn't embrace any religion at all, and the sorrow is magnified a hundred fold. The greed of the few lucky to be born in the Capital, and the literal hunger and suffering of those born into places like District 12. But then I look at our world. Is it really so different? The Games remind me of the Arena in ancient Rome, with a sadistic, high-tech twist. Well even back then it was horrible.
Is our world today really so different in that the rich are the few, and a very large portion of the world is dying of hungry or disease, all things that we can fix - if we are willing to stand up and make a difference. We don't live in a place like Panem where contact with anyone outside of your district is forbidden, where you can't leave the perimeter that a select few have chosen for you. We have the freedom to use our money as we wish, to travel the world. So what holds us back? Lack of initiative? Are we waiting for someone like Katniss to spark a revolution? We shouldn't have to. We're commanded to take care of the poor, the widows, and those without clothes on their backs. A large part of the world seems to have forgotten though.
This series leaves me still with a lot to chew over. If you decided to read this post anyway without reading the books, I will say that yes there is a happy ending, the impossible happens and Katniss chooses who she will love. I won't say who though :)
I recommend reading them. Written in first person narrative first bugged me a lot, but you really get to think like The Girl On Fire. It fits her character.
And if you didn't already know, the Hunger Games comes out on the Big Screen 3-23-12. I'm going, are you?
-Katilynn Marie
Sunday, February 19
The Love of the Lord
Hello again,
So lately the Lord has really been pressing upon me His unyielding, unconditional love for me. I admit that some days are good days and some days are not so good for me. There are the days that I wake up ready to embrace what the Lord has for me, and there are some mornings I wake up and don't want to even get out of bed. This is how I know I'm on the right track though: I don't have all of the answers, I don't have the strength to do it on my own, and I still don't even know what it is I'm supposed to be doing or feeling or saying....
I've done a lot of thinking lately (oh no) and mostly it's been in a sort of circle. I guess I'm trying to figure out how to live out my purpose in a world that is consumed with itself. Well to begin with I'm still trying to discover my own purpose on this earth. But it does make it infinitely more difficult with so many people walking around who don't really give a hoot.
Anyway, back to His love. Because that's what it all boils down to. God's amazing love for us. For you. For me. It's funny [or ironic maybe] that the name of this blog is the Greatest Commandment. Which is a reference to Deuteronomy 6:5 [NKJV].
Now that I've truly stepped into the Lord's love for me, this passage takes on a different meaning. It looks different than it used to. Before when I would read this, and when I tried to live it out, it was all me showing my human love for the Lord. Which is great....but not enough. I didn't absolutely believe the power that grace had, I didn't see the absolute beauty that God sees when He looks at me. A love that's one sided isn't really love at all. What I thought was loving God was only a pale picture of the truth, of reality. I was looking at Him, trying to love Him through a glass door that was closed. The door only had a handle on my side. It was my choice to accept the love of the One who gave up His life for me. And when I did open that door, my knight in shining armor swept me off my feet and held me close. Close enough to feel His touch, to hear His heart beating where my head laid on His chest.
Have you opened the door to the God of creation yet? Have you allowed the Greatest Love Story ever told to become your love story with the One who will never leave you nor forsake you?
And so Deuteronomy 6:5 looks different to me because I know that the Lord absolutely loves me, and so for me to love Him is completely different now. Nothing I do or don't do can strengthen His love for me, because it is already infinite. And so I can rest in His love, and continue to learn how to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and mind.
So lately the Lord has really been pressing upon me His unyielding, unconditional love for me. I admit that some days are good days and some days are not so good for me. There are the days that I wake up ready to embrace what the Lord has for me, and there are some mornings I wake up and don't want to even get out of bed. This is how I know I'm on the right track though: I don't have all of the answers, I don't have the strength to do it on my own, and I still don't even know what it is I'm supposed to be doing or feeling or saying....
I've done a lot of thinking lately (oh no) and mostly it's been in a sort of circle. I guess I'm trying to figure out how to live out my purpose in a world that is consumed with itself. Well to begin with I'm still trying to discover my own purpose on this earth. But it does make it infinitely more difficult with so many people walking around who don't really give a hoot.
Anyway, back to His love. Because that's what it all boils down to. God's amazing love for us. For you. For me. It's funny [or ironic maybe] that the name of this blog is the Greatest Commandment. Which is a reference to Deuteronomy 6:5 [NKJV].
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.[The Message]:
Love God, your God, with your whole heart; love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got!When I created this blog my freshman year of college, it was to glorify the Lord. Writing at His calling. Since then I've contemplated changing the name of this blog multiple times, but each time I don't. There's always a nagging at the back of my mind that says, "No, keep it as it is. For My glory, not yours, Kaitlynn." And I can't argue with that.
Now that I've truly stepped into the Lord's love for me, this passage takes on a different meaning. It looks different than it used to. Before when I would read this, and when I tried to live it out, it was all me showing my human love for the Lord. Which is great....but not enough. I didn't absolutely believe the power that grace had, I didn't see the absolute beauty that God sees when He looks at me. A love that's one sided isn't really love at all. What I thought was loving God was only a pale picture of the truth, of reality. I was looking at Him, trying to love Him through a glass door that was closed. The door only had a handle on my side. It was my choice to accept the love of the One who gave up His life for me. And when I did open that door, my knight in shining armor swept me off my feet and held me close. Close enough to feel His touch, to hear His heart beating where my head laid on His chest.
Have you opened the door to the God of creation yet? Have you allowed the Greatest Love Story ever told to become your love story with the One who will never leave you nor forsake you?
And so Deuteronomy 6:5 looks different to me because I know that the Lord absolutely loves me, and so for me to love Him is completely different now. Nothing I do or don't do can strengthen His love for me, because it is already infinite. And so I can rest in His love, and continue to learn how to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and mind.
Sunday, January 29
Love is a verb.
Hello, dear friends! My church just finished a week of Prayer and Fasting. Hallelujah! I am blessed beyond measure to be a
part of a church body that is seeking God every single day. The Lord moved through our lives in big ways this year, and I am still trying to get it all straight.
This year Calvary offered a prayer meeting every morning, noon, and evening. I made it to five of the six morning offerings and six of the seven evening prayer meetings. The Lord is good, the Lord is good, the Lord is awesome! Posturing yourself before the Lord in humility with a humble heart is where God works.
At every prayer meeting we have half an hour of worship, and then half an hour of prayer in small(ish) groups. During the mornings, usually you pray with two or three other people, and then in the evenings, our group prayers include anywhere from three to seven additional people. This year the theme that kept reappearing was God's desire for our whole hearts.
My heart at the beginning of this week was pretty twisted, scarred, and broken. Over and over again God showed me that it was that way because I was holding onto things that I had no business holding onto. God did a lot of amazing work in my life, my mind, and my heart this week. One of the best things happened Friday night though.
Marz and I were in a prayer circle, and our leader, Ron, had asked us all to give thanks to the Lord in a circle. After we had all finished, he said that he believed the Lord had laid two words on him for 2 people during prayer, and that the Lord had then laid a 3rd. He shared the first two, and then he turned to me. I have never had a word from the Lord spoken over me, and it was amazing. I'll try my best to remember what he said,
"Kaitlynn, the Lord has showed me some sort of glass, something that you can see through, but not clearly. Almost like a veil. You are on one side and God is on the other side. He loves you so much, He delights in you, but there's something in you that is blocking you from receiving God's love. He wants you to know that He loves you so much, and that you aren't experiencing even a tiny bit of it."
He also shared with me a scripture, but I can't remember what it was.
Before we went into our prayer circles on Friday night Rob, our pastor, had prayed over us that the Lord would work where we weren't even expecting Him to work. This came totally out of left field for me. But as soon as Ron started speaking to me, I knew that it was all true. I knew that I wasn't allowing the Lord to shine His physical, mental, and spiritual love on me. I was keeping His love at arm distance because I didn't believe I worthy.
Going into Friday evening I was so joyful! My heart was lighter than it had been in so long! I felt confident in being a child of God, but I wasn't allowing Him to delight in me, to absolutely love me.
Friday night after prayer the Lord really pressed into me and revealed to me that I wasn't allowing Him to show me His love because I wasn't accepting who I was. I didn't want to feel His love because I didn't know what I was missing and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.
The LORD loves me!!! He delights in me!!! He calls me beautiful!!! I am His daughter and His precious jewel!!!
I guess part of me didn't want to believe most of the line above this for so long because I didn't want to be prideful, I didn't want to be noticed, and I just didn't believe it. But I do now.
Do YOU know that the Lord loves you?!?! Right now, whatever state your heart is in. He loves you. Period. He wants to pour out His blessings and love on you.
There's lots of changes coming in my life, and I'm excited to see them!
Until next time,
Kaitlynn
part of a church body that is seeking God every single day. The Lord moved through our lives in big ways this year, and I am still trying to get it all straight.
This year Calvary offered a prayer meeting every morning, noon, and evening. I made it to five of the six morning offerings and six of the seven evening prayer meetings. The Lord is good, the Lord is good, the Lord is awesome! Posturing yourself before the Lord in humility with a humble heart is where God works.
At every prayer meeting we have half an hour of worship, and then half an hour of prayer in small(ish) groups. During the mornings, usually you pray with two or three other people, and then in the evenings, our group prayers include anywhere from three to seven additional people. This year the theme that kept reappearing was God's desire for our whole hearts.
My heart at the beginning of this week was pretty twisted, scarred, and broken. Over and over again God showed me that it was that way because I was holding onto things that I had no business holding onto. God did a lot of amazing work in my life, my mind, and my heart this week. One of the best things happened Friday night though.
Marz and I were in a prayer circle, and our leader, Ron, had asked us all to give thanks to the Lord in a circle. After we had all finished, he said that he believed the Lord had laid two words on him for 2 people during prayer, and that the Lord had then laid a 3rd. He shared the first two, and then he turned to me. I have never had a word from the Lord spoken over me, and it was amazing. I'll try my best to remember what he said,
"Kaitlynn, the Lord has showed me some sort of glass, something that you can see through, but not clearly. Almost like a veil. You are on one side and God is on the other side. He loves you so much, He delights in you, but there's something in you that is blocking you from receiving God's love. He wants you to know that He loves you so much, and that you aren't experiencing even a tiny bit of it."
He also shared with me a scripture, but I can't remember what it was.
Before we went into our prayer circles on Friday night Rob, our pastor, had prayed over us that the Lord would work where we weren't even expecting Him to work. This came totally out of left field for me. But as soon as Ron started speaking to me, I knew that it was all true. I knew that I wasn't allowing the Lord to shine His physical, mental, and spiritual love on me. I was keeping His love at arm distance because I didn't believe I worthy.
Going into Friday evening I was so joyful! My heart was lighter than it had been in so long! I felt confident in being a child of God, but I wasn't allowing Him to delight in me, to absolutely love me.
Friday night after prayer the Lord really pressed into me and revealed to me that I wasn't allowing Him to show me His love because I wasn't accepting who I was. I didn't want to feel His love because I didn't know what I was missing and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.
The LORD loves me!!! He delights in me!!! He calls me beautiful!!! I am His daughter and His precious jewel!!!
I guess part of me didn't want to believe most of the line above this for so long because I didn't want to be prideful, I didn't want to be noticed, and I just didn't believe it. But I do now.
Do YOU know that the Lord loves you?!?! Right now, whatever state your heart is in. He loves you. Period. He wants to pour out His blessings and love on you.
There's lots of changes coming in my life, and I'm excited to see them!
Until next time,
Kaitlynn
Tuesday, January 10
A Breath of Fresh Air
It seems like I'm always saying this, that the act of being in the Word and actually being fed in a congregation makes SUCH a difference. Mostly, I'm saying it to myself because as Ann Voskamp says, "I have soul amnesia." We all go through highs and lows. It's finding the equilibrium that matters. Where is the homeostasis (bonus points for using a biology word) between myself and God? Between the world and eternity?
Tonight was my college group. We don't meet over Christmas Break, and I didn't go very much in November. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I didn't realize how foggy my vision has been lately. I was so heavy burdened and I didn't even realize it.
(photo credit)
And SO true.
The thing is though, this morning I had to absolutely trust that God would get me to work in the next town over. There was no room for thoughts of what I would do if I ran out of gas or if I was late. God is bigger than the size of our gas tank or the dollar amount in our bank account. But how often do I really rely on Him? How often do I really look to see the amazing work He's done?
This morning my vision was clouded. Not physically, but spiritually and mentally. I couldn't see past the heaviness and burden that I had put on myself. I couldn't see past needing to get good grades this term and being on time for work. I couldn't see past having wasted so much time recently watching TV shows on Netflix and generally doing nothing with my life.
But now I see that what I thought were treacherous mountains are really just little mole hills in a very vast, beautiful meadow. Everything is about perspective.
I'll be working on keeping my perspective Heaven minded and eternity bound this week. What about you?
Much love and until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie
Tonight was my college group. We don't meet over Christmas Break, and I didn't go very much in November. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I didn't realize how foggy my vision has been lately. I was so heavy burdened and I didn't even realize it.
This morning I woke up and did not want to get out of bed. I was really groggy and grumpy even after a nice hot shower. After eating I couldn't keep my eyes open and was on the verge of tears for most of the morning. I have no idea why. When I left to go to work I was really disheartened. When I got in the car I remembered that my gas gauge was on empty and that my bank account was about the same. Through the haze I knew that my only option was to call upon the Lord.
My roommate Marz has a quote on the whiteboard on her board right now.
So good!"God's abundance is a perfect match to our emptiness."
And SO true.
The thing is though, this morning I had to absolutely trust that God would get me to work in the next town over. There was no room for thoughts of what I would do if I ran out of gas or if I was late. God is bigger than the size of our gas tank or the dollar amount in our bank account. But how often do I really rely on Him? How often do I really look to see the amazing work He's done?
This morning my vision was clouded. Not physically, but spiritually and mentally. I couldn't see past the heaviness and burden that I had put on myself. I couldn't see past needing to get good grades this term and being on time for work. I couldn't see past having wasted so much time recently watching TV shows on Netflix and generally doing nothing with my life.
But now I see that what I thought were treacherous mountains are really just little mole hills in a very vast, beautiful meadow. Everything is about perspective.
I'll be working on keeping my perspective Heaven minded and eternity bound this week. What about you?
Much love and until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie
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