Katniss Everdeen, The Girl On Fire

*Spoiler*
This post includes details about the entire Hunger Games series.  Please do not read on if you haven't read the books, but wish to.  Come back after you read them though! :)

Rereading the Hunger Games this weekend was an interesting experience for me.  I generally remember books I read pretty well, but for some reason this series didn't stick with me.  I remembered a few of the big details, but for the most part it was like reading them for the first time. 

When I put down Mockingjay today there was still a trail of tears on my face, and I just sat there in the silence.  I am so thankful that my God is real, that He never leaves me, and that even though life - real life - isn't lovey dovey and we don't usually get fairytale endings, He's always there.  What really struck me was that Katniss and Peeta were only 16 when the horror of being reaped for the Hunger Games took place.  They were 16 when they saw 22 other children killed around them.  By their own hands or not.  And then they're back in district 12, and just when everything seems as normal as it can be after being in the arena, everything takes another complete shift.  These two "star-crossed-lovers" are reaped again.  And now both Katniss and Peeta have volunteered for the Games.  They are 17. 

I physically hurt with the pain that Katniss feels through the whole ordeal.  Her confusion, hurt, the betrayal she feels.  The Mockingjay, the face of the rebellion is found alone most of the time.  She spends a lot of her time running from everyone because reality is a nightmare, but her nightmares are even worse than reality.  I can't imagine having to see almost everyone and everything she ever loved ripped away from her. 

I imagine those reading these books that feel like Katniss do, and I pray that they know just how much the Lord loves them.  I pray that they know they are not alone.  When we feel alone is generally when the Lord really has picked us up and holds us close in His arms. 

I'm amazed at the stark difference between our reality and Panem [the rubble of the U.S left behind after our nation falls].  More than that though my soul grieves for the utter despair that takes over a life that isn't founded in the Lord.  Add to it that the whole country of Panem doesn't embrace any religion at all, and the sorrow is magnified a hundred fold.  The greed of the few lucky to be born in the Capital, and the literal hunger and suffering of those born into places like District 12.  But then I look at our world.  Is it really so different?  The Games remind me of the Arena in ancient Rome, with a sadistic, high-tech twist.  Well even back then it was horrible. 

Is our world today really so different in that the rich are the few, and a very large portion of the world is dying of hungry or disease, all things that we can fix - if we are willing to stand up and make a difference.  We don't live in a place like Panem where contact with anyone outside of your district is forbidden, where you can't leave the perimeter that a select few have chosen for you.  We have the freedom to use our money as we wish, to travel the world.  So what holds us back?  Lack of initiative?  Are we waiting for someone like Katniss to spark a revolution?  We shouldn't have to.  We're commanded to take care of the poor, the widows, and those without clothes on their backs.  A large part of the world seems to have forgotten though.  

This series leaves me still with a lot to chew over.  If you decided to read this post anyway without reading the books, I will say that yes there is a happy ending, the impossible happens and Katniss chooses who she will love.  I won't say who though :)  

I recommend reading them.  Written in first person narrative first bugged me a lot, but you really get to think like The Girl On Fire.  It fits her character. 

And if you didn't already know, the Hunger Games comes out on the Big Screen 3-23-12.  I'm going, are you?

-Katilynn Marie

The Love of the Lord

Hello again,
So lately the Lord has really been pressing upon me His unyielding, unconditional love for me.  I admit that some days are good days and some days are not so good for me.  There are the days that I wake up ready to embrace what the Lord has for me, and there are some mornings I wake up and don't want to even get out of bed.  This is how I know I'm on the right track though:  I don't have all of the answers, I don't have the strength to do it on my own, and I still don't even know what it is I'm supposed to be doing or feeling or saying....

I've done a lot of thinking lately (oh no) and mostly it's been in a sort of circle.  I guess I'm trying to figure out how to live out my purpose in a world that is consumed with itself.  Well to begin with I'm still trying to discover my own purpose on this earth.  But it does make it infinitely more difficult with so many people walking around who don't really give a hoot. 

Anyway, back to His love.  Because that's what it all boils down to.  God's amazing love for us.  For you.  For me.  It's funny [or ironic maybe] that the name of this blog is the Greatest Commandment.  Which is a reference to Deuteronomy 6:5 [NKJV].

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 

[The Message]:

Love God, your God, with your whole heart; love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got!

 When I created this blog my freshman year of college, it was to glorify the Lord.  Writing at His calling.  Since then I've contemplated changing the name of this blog multiple times, but each time I don't.  There's always a nagging at the back of my mind that says, "No, keep it as it is.  For My glory, not yours, Kaitlynn."  And I can't argue with that.

Now that I've truly stepped into the Lord's love for me, this passage takes on a different meaning.  It looks different than it used to.  Before when I would read this, and when I tried to live it out, it was all me showing my human love for the Lord.  Which is great....but not enough.  I didn't absolutely believe the power that grace had, I didn't see the absolute beauty that God sees when He looks at me.  A love that's one sided isn't really love at all.  What I thought was loving God was only a pale picture of the truth, of reality.  I was looking at Him, trying to love Him through a glass door that was closed.  The door only had a handle on my side.  It was my choice to accept the love of the One who gave up His life for me.  And when I did open that door, my knight in shining armor swept me off my feet and held me close.  Close enough to feel His touch, to hear His heart beating where my head laid on His chest. 

Have you opened the door to the God of creation yet?  Have you allowed the Greatest Love Story ever told to become your love story with the One who will never leave you nor forsake you? 

And so Deuteronomy 6:5 looks different to me because I know that the Lord absolutely loves me, and so for me to love Him is completely different now.  Nothing I do or don't do can strengthen His love for me, because it is already infinite.  And so I can rest in His love, and continue to learn how to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and mind. 

Love is a verb.

Hello, dear friends!  My church just finished a week of Prayer and Fasting.  Hallelujah!  I am blessed beyond measure to be a
part of a church body that is seeking God every single day.  The Lord moved through our lives in big ways this year, and I am still trying to get it all straight. 
This year Calvary offered a prayer meeting every morning, noon, and evening.  I made it to five of the six morning offerings and six of the seven evening prayer meetings.  The Lord is good, the Lord is good, the Lord is awesome!  Posturing yourself before the Lord in humility with a humble heart is where God works. 

At every prayer meeting we have half an hour of worship, and then half an hour of prayer in small(ish) groups.  During the mornings, usually you pray with two or three other people, and then in the evenings, our group prayers include anywhere from three to seven additional people.  This year the theme that kept reappearing was God's desire for our whole hearts. 

My heart at the beginning of this week was pretty twisted, scarred, and broken.  Over and over again God showed me that it was that way because I was holding onto things that I had no business holding onto.  God did a lot of amazing work in my life, my mind, and my heart this week.  One of the best things happened Friday night though. 

Marz and I were in a prayer circle, and our leader, Ron, had asked us all to give thanks to the Lord in a circle.  After we had all finished, he said that he believed the Lord had laid two words on him for 2 people during prayer, and that the Lord had then laid a 3rd.  He shared the first two, and then he turned to me.  I have never had a word from the Lord spoken over me, and it was amazing.  I'll try my best to remember what he said,

"Kaitlynn, the Lord has showed me some sort of glass, something that you can see through, but not clearly.  Almost like a veil.  You are on one side and God is on the other side.  He loves you so much, He delights in you, but there's something in you that is blocking you from receiving God's love.  He wants you to know that He loves you so much, and that you aren't experiencing even a tiny bit of it." 
He also shared with me a scripture, but I can't remember what it was.

Before we went into our prayer circles on Friday night Rob, our pastor, had prayed over us that the Lord would work where we weren't even expecting Him to work.  This came totally out of left field for me.  But as soon as Ron started speaking to me, I knew that it was all true.  I knew that I wasn't allowing the Lord to shine His physical, mental, and spiritual love on me.  I was keeping His love at arm distance because I didn't believe I worthy. 
Going into Friday evening I was so joyful!  My heart was lighter than it had been in so long!  I felt confident in being a child of God, but I wasn't allowing Him to delight in me, to absolutely love me. 

Friday night after prayer the Lord really pressed into me and revealed to me that I wasn't allowing Him to show me His love because I wasn't accepting who I was.  I didn't want to feel His love because I didn't know what I was missing and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. 

The LORD loves me!!!  He delights in me!!! He calls me beautiful!!!  I am His daughter and His precious jewel!!!

I guess part of me didn't want to believe most of the line above this for so long because I didn't want to be prideful, I didn't want to be noticed, and I just didn't believe it.  But I do now. 

Do YOU know that the Lord loves you?!?!  Right now, whatever state your heart is in.  He loves you.  Period.  He wants to pour out His blessings and love on you. 

There's lots of changes coming in my life, and I'm excited to see them! 

Until next time,
Kaitlynn

A Breath of Fresh Air

It seems like I'm always saying this, that the act of being in the Word and actually being fed in a congregation makes SUCH a difference.  Mostly, I'm saying it to myself because as Ann Voskamp says, "I have soul amnesia."  We all go through highs and lows.  It's finding the equilibrium that matters.  Where is the homeostasis (bonus points for using a biology word) between myself and God?  Between the world and eternity? 

Tonight was my college group.  We don't meet over Christmas Break, and I didn't go very much in November.  I didn't realize how much I missed it.  I didn't realize how foggy my vision has been lately.  I was so heavy burdened and I didn't even realize it.

(photo credit)

This morning I woke up and did not want to get out of bed.  I was really groggy and grumpy even after a nice hot shower.  After eating I couldn't keep my eyes open and was on the verge of tears for most of the morning.  I have no idea why.  When I left to go to work I was really disheartened.  When I got in the car I remembered that my gas gauge was on empty and that my bank account was about the same.  Through the haze I knew that my only option was to call upon the Lord.  

My roommate Marz has a quote on the whiteboard on her board right now.

"God's abundance is a perfect match to our emptiness."

 So good!
And SO true.
The thing is though, this morning I had to absolutely trust that God would get me to work in the next town over.  There was no room for thoughts of what I would do if I ran out of gas or if I was late.  God is bigger than the size of our gas tank or the dollar amount in our bank account.  But how often do I really rely on Him?  How often do I really look to see the amazing work He's done? 

This morning my vision was clouded.  Not physically, but spiritually and mentally.  I couldn't see past the heaviness and burden that I had put on myself.  I couldn't see past needing to get good grades this term and being on time for work.  I couldn't see past having wasted so much time recently watching TV shows on Netflix and generally doing nothing with my life. 

But now I see that what I thought were treacherous mountains are really just little mole hills in a very vast, beautiful meadow.  Everything is about perspective. 

I'll be working on keeping my perspective Heaven minded and eternity bound this week.  What about you?

Much love and until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie

 

Seasons

We all go through different seasons in life.  2011 was a very interesting year for me.  It is set apart by it's lack of music.  I literally just sat here for 5 minutes and wracked my brain for an instance of music in the past year.  There was just the one.  I sang at my county fair.

For as long as I can remember, music has been an integral part of my life.  Music has pumped through my veins..  If I were at home, I would simply run down to the Baptist church and pluck away at the piano until whatever was out of my system.  Or I would put my headphones in and play as loud as I could on my keyboard.  Seeing as I avoid the music hall on campus, and I don't exactly have the keys to my church here, or room for my full size keyboard.. music has suffered.  Sure, I have my clarinet and guitar here, but... I'm one of those obnoxious musicians who absolutely gets lost in the music and drowns everything else out.  It's how I think clearly.  I don't think the neighbors would appreciate it.

I believe that there is a reason for everything, a time and a purpose.  This season without music has been good and bad.  I know it's something my soul is craving.
I don't think I really believe in New Year's Resolutions, but I do believe in living intentionally.  Just because the calendar marks the beginning of a new year doesn't mean that anything has changed.  So while I don't want to set goals or resolutions, I will share with you my intentions. 

• I intend to get back on track with my Bible reading after a very long Christmas Break.  {I have seen the difference in myself.  I have witnessed first hand my reactions when I'm not in the Word.  Why is it always the things our parents tell us to do, that end up being what we don't want to do...and yet in the end, end up doing?}

• I intend to play more music, and to not be afraid of it.  {Sometimes I'm afraid to play because I'm afraid I'm going to fail.  That happened more times than I can count this year.  I want to get back to the place where music is my special bond to my Father.  The place where the only thing that matters is that I'm worshiping.}

On another note, I have some really exciting news!  Long story short I heard my boss from home wanted to talk to me, so I called him.  He told me that he would be willing to bring me on to work 3 months early this year if I take online classes. (This was originally my idea, I just never heard back from him, so jumped to the conclusion that he didn't like it.)  God is so good!  So spring term I will be back in my hometown working full-time and doing school online full-time.  It will be a challenge, but I can do it.  

Some more exciting news.  I did all the math yesterday, and found out that if I take classes this summer, I can actually graduate next June!!!!!!!!! Praise the Lord.  I don't know how, but it's so exciting.  And I'm going to start crying just thinking about it.  The opportunity to go back to work early this year really confirms for me that I'm supposed to move back home after I graduate.  You see, the thing is that college was never my dream.  It was His.  And that's the beauty of it.  I'm giving it back to Him.  While I was trying to control this semi truck from back, He's been at the wheel. 

So, will you pray for me?  Will you pray that God completes this work in me that only He could have begun?  Will you pray along side me that I can decrease so that He can increase in my life?  I would greatly appreciate it. 

~Kaitlynn Marie

Thoughts

....I have been awake for a little over 36 hours.  The majority of it has been spent on the 'tall couch' at our dining room table watching the TV show Felicity.  Yeah... Most of Season 2, all of Season 3, and the first 9 episodes of Season 4.  Apparently TV shows on Netflix are my thing.  Add some extra cheese and this hopeless romantic is set to go.  You know the weird thing?  The past 36 hours have gone by extremely fast.  I seriously got almost nothing accomplished, besides watching Felicity of course.  I did do the dishes Tuesday afternoon (this is really sad.  It's already early Thursday morning.) and I did eat three good meals.  I also showered, and played guitar for like 30 minutes, which was great.  Except the only song I remember how to play right now is "Someone like you" by Adele.  Well I guess it's not a bad thing.  It's just the only thing I can currently play. 

Mar is visiting her soon to be in-laws, and Marz is house sitting.  Which is the only reason I have managed to pull off this whole 36 hour-being-awake-thing.  My eyelids are getting droopy, but I just thought I'd share part of my Christmas break with you. 

Until next time,
-Kaitlynn

When Everything You Do

Is For God's Glory.


The past few days here have been sweet times spent with the Lord.  It shouldn't surprise me that when I take the time to actually enter the stillness, and to spend time with my God, I can see the fruit in everything else.  For me there are distinct times of rushing through, living through, and walking through time, events, and days.





 Rushing through is when I'm going a million miles an hour, I'm always out of breath, and it seems I can't see straight enough to know where I am.



  (photo credit)











Living through is just going through the motions.  Going here and there, not rushing, but not really understanding or processing anything.












Walking through is the place where  I internalize, where I can connect the dots.  Even though the world is moving around me, time stands still.  It's where I most easily meet Yeshua.   






I have a new appreciation for people who work in retail year-round.  I'm on day two and already my knees are killing me!  But it's a small thing to suffer, for how fun my job really is.  I'm a 'greeter' at Hallmark.  Translation: Smile and talk to people when they come in. 

I can do this! 

Last night I had my first shift and I prayed the whole way there that God would give me humility in learning a new set of job-skills, and that I would shine for Him. 

This morning, I spent the car ride there praying the same thing. That my smiles and "How are you doing todays" would be more than just surface things.  I prayed that they would truly come from within and that Jesus would shine through me. 

There were lots of people in and out of the store today.  It's amazing how much a smile and a few kind words can really change someone's disposition.  One older lady commented to me that she was glad that I told her Merry Christmas.  She said she missed hearing it around.  She was truly happy.  Something so small on my part.

There was another lady that I helped with her shopping.  I can't even really remember what it was that I helped her find.  An ornament or two and an address book small enough to fit in her purse.  She was a sweet, grandmotherly sort and by the end of her shopping she was calling me by name and wishing me a Merry Christmas.  I was surprised to see her about an hour later.  I told her hello again, and she promptly asked me how long I was working.  I told her until four, and she said good.  She wanted to make sure I would be there ten minutes later, and not on break or something.

A short time later she walked in with a little red gift bag in her hand.  She walked right up to me and said, "Kaitlynn, this is a Christmas gift for you.  Thank you for helping me this morning, I appreciate it!  You can go ahead and open it now."

I was speechless and probably would have started crying if I'd had a little more time to think about it.  I opened the bag and inside was an angel ornament that she had had customized with my name and 2011.  I thanked her, gave her a hug,  told her to have a blessed Christmas, and she was gone.  I never even got her name.

I turned around to face my co-workers, and one of them was crying.  They'd never seen anything like it. 

To God be the glory. 

I hope that what the grandmotherly sweetheart saw in me today was Jesus.  I know it couldn't have been my knowledge of the store or products...it was my second day today.  Her kindness blessed me beyond belief.  I went to the back room and thanked the Lord. 

My goal is simply to be the warmth and love of the Father.  So many little old ladies make their way into our store, and I wonder how often they get to talk to someone.  How often do they see their children and grandkids?  I know now that this job wasn't sent to me because I needed the money.  I was sent to this job because I have a role to fill in impacting people. 

I may not be able to say anything about my Savior, but I can smile, ask how d'ya do, and simply love people.  Now more than ever I cry out, "To God be the glory."


Where in your own life can you be the hands and feet of Jesus?  

Until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie

Praise the Lord

I sit here so happy, so full of joy that I know I must share it with the world.  The Lord has blessed me so, and it's incredible to see His works fulfilled in my life, and the lives of those around me!  I love how the Lord works, and I love that His timing is always right, always perfect.

 I have been job hunting since August.  I've sent resume after resume to no apparent avail.  And then a little over a month ago God used my aunt to put me in contact with a potential employer.  At the time she didn't have any open positions.  Meanwhile, I knew that when God wanted me to have a job, I would have a job.  I haven't been too terribly worried about it.

And then 2 weeks ago my aunt texted me and told me to go get on Craigslist.  The employer had called my aunt to tell her that she posted a job there.  So I found the job posting and once again sent in my resume.  I never heard anything back, and so I trusted God with my future job.

Since then I've applied for another position, but haven't heard back from it either.  So I decided earlier this week that I would head home today.  That if I hadn't heard anything from anyone, it was God's will and it would be enough.  I think I decided on today because my mother called and said I had a dentist appointment at home on Friday.  I hate the dentist.  Always have, and most likely always will.  It takes me about a day to prepare, so today was the day.

Well, today was the day, until I got a phone call.
A voicemail actually saying that yes she would love to bring me on, and could I start Thursday or Friday?  I get to greet people... as a job.  Hallelujah!!
I called her back, confirmed the phone call, then about burst into tears when I hung up.  How great is our God?  His timing is absolute.  He always makes sure we're provided for.

So praise #1: You are reading the blog of an employed woman!  The work is supposed to last until New Years, but that in itself is such a blessing!  I cannot glorify the Name of the Lord enough!

Because I now have a job, that means that I'm staying in College town for Christmas.  Mar and I have been talking about getting a Christmas tree for a while, but never did because we both weren't going to be here.

After my exciting news last night, we decided that a Christmas tree from the little place down the road would be a great celebration!  Well it was a good idea until Mar's boyfriend suggested we wait because he had actually bought tree permits for them to go tree hunting today.... Sneaky, sneaky boy!

And so Mar and I jumped to the obvious conclusion...he was going to propose!  So we got super squirly and then went and got large coffees (at 6:00pm...bad idea).  Then J came over and the 3 of us hung out and watched 8 Below and when he went home just after midnight, we got all excited again, but realized that just because we thought Mar might be getting engaged today didn't mean she was.  The coffee, adrenaline, giggles, and whispering kept us up until 2:00 this morning..

We both calmed down and were pretty normal getting ready.  Then they went Christmas tree hunting and I picked up the book I'm reading (Fifth Seal by Bodie and Brock Thoene.  I HIGHLY recommend their books!!! SO. MUCH. TRUTH!) right now, and it was a normal afternoon.  I was praying for my lunch and the two of them, just putting everything into God's hands, when I got the prompt on my phone at 1:34 that said, one new picture waiting to be downloaded, I about lost it!  SSSSOOOO excited for two of my best friends on this planet.

Not only are these two seriously my best friends, they are amazing examples of a relationship centered around the Lord.  I am blessed by them so so much!  It's so good to see God growing in them individually and in their relationship, and I'm just so excited to see them take this next step in life.  We are growing up.  It's crazy, and I cannot believe it sometimes, but it's real!  I'm so thankful that God put them in my life.


So praise #2: My best friend is engaged.

It's kind of a weird praise I guess, but it just makes sense.  God gets all the glory in their relationship, and that folks is what it's all about.  Not J's glory, not Mar's glory, but God's glory.  His work through them.

What do you have to be thankful for today?  Make it made known to God.  He's excited to share in your joy!

All the glory to God!
-Kaitlynn Marie

When you can't ignore it...

You know those times that the Lord is telling you something?  I'm thinking more about the times he's telling you something and you unceremoniously refuse. {okay..maybe it's just me that does that..}  I have two prime examples for you this lovely evening in the hopes that you will recognize the voice of the Father and obey.

Example 1

Setting: Fall Retreat {a.k.a beautiful Sun River..very beautiful..think rustic/fancy cabin, slightly chilly as in snowy chilly, and the presence of our Father}

Time: 7:19 AM..or somewhere roughly around there

Scene: Kaitlynn is woken up by slightly panicking roommate Mar.

Mar: Kaitlynn..(no response).. Kaiiiitlynn.

Kaitlynn: (sits up) yeah?

Mar: My phone is between the bed and the wall and the alarm is going to go off in like 5 minutes... will you help me move the bed before it goes off and wakes everyone up?

Kaitlynn: Okay.

So we proceed to rescue said phone...albeit by moving the whole bed.. the phone somehow got stuck between the box frame and the wall...

At this point Mar gets up to shower and Kaitlynn grabs all the blankets and gets ready to sleep for another 25 minutes per the pre-allotted time as organized the night before.

            God: Good morning, beautiful daughter!

            Kaitlynn: Good morning, Daddy.  (eyes closed, but smiling)

God: I know you want to sleep for another 25 minutes, but I’d like it if you came outside and spent some time with me this morning.

Kaitlynn: Daddy, didn’t you see the memo last night?  I’m spending time with You from 8:00-8:30, after I shower.  I have 23 minutes left of sleep..

God: I did see your memo last night....I have other plans though.  I want you to come outside and watch the sunrise with Me.  I want to spend some quality time with you to start your day.

Kaitlynn: Buuuuut, Dadddd it’s really cold outside!  And it’s sssoooo warm under all these blankies.  Can’t we just wait ‘till after I shower?  I’m not even really awake yet, and I haven’t had any coffee, and (interrupted)

God: Come out here, Kaitlynn.

Kaitlynn: Sorry, Daddy.  I’m just gonna sleep for 17 more minutes.  See you in half an hour.

I snuggle down in my blankies and pretend that I’m not ignoring the Maker of the Universe... 17 minutes later...

Mar: (walking out of the bathroom and whispering so as not to wake the other girls) Kaitlynn, did you see the text from Chad?

Kaitlynn: No. (gets up to check phone.  Reads message that says something like: “Hey guys, I announced the wrong start time for Chapel this morning.  It actually starts at 9:00...not 9:30.  [Leaders] Please meet at 8:30 in foyer..”)  Oh.

Mar: Yeah.. we need to tell the girls and start breakfast.. now!

Kaitlynn: Okay.  I’m gonna hop in the shower.  We still have 15ish minutes before we need to wake everyone up.

So I take a nice warm shower, get dressed, and look outside to the porch outside our room.  Then it hits me.  The Lord knew that I would ‘unexpectedly’ be running 30 minutes behind.  Which was why He wanted me to spend time with Him before my pre-planned time.  At this point I just stare out the window and ask for forgiveness.  I’m so selfish.  

           

Example 2

Setting: Kaitlynn’s Apartment

Time: Not exactly important...

Scene: Kaitlynn feels gentle nudging to pick up book she’s been trying[somewhat half-heartedly] to read for 2 weeks.

She gets on Pinterest...

A few hours later, same nudging feeling creeps in.

Kaitlynn watches Beauty and the Beast instead.

The next day, as Kaitlynn is again on Pinterest...the nudging.

            God: Kaitlynn, dear I’d like You to go read your book.

            Kaitlynn: Sorry, Lord but I’m busy.

            God: No you’re not..you’re actually really bored...

            Kaitlynn: Okay, I am...but still. (continues to pursue nothing on Pinterest)

A little later

            God: Are you ready to listen to me now?

            Kaitlynn: (exhales) I guess so..

            God: Why do you fight me?  You love to read!!!

Kaitlynn: I know, Daddy... I’m just stubborn and don’t like to admit my failures.  I know I have things we need to work out. 

God: I know, sweetheart.  Come to me.  My arms are open and waiting for you.  I will always love you.  You know that!  So why do you doubt it?

Kaitlynn: I don’t doubt that you love me!!  I doubt my own mind in a happy ending.  Will you grow in me a trust for You above all others?

God: (just smiles, and takes my hand)

And I go read.  And it’s exactly what I need. 

I don’t want anyone to be confused...  I don’t hear God speak audibly.  My conversations with God are more like impressions on my heart.  That being said, the impressions on my heart are words of their own.  They are heart-spirit conversations with my Maker.  Since He created me, He knows how to speak to me in a way that cannot be denied or ignored... well I do my best to ignore them sometimes...but I never last for long!!

Some people do hear audible words from the Lord, some see images from the Lord.  Everyone is different, and every walk with God is different.  This is just what mine looks like. :)

I hope these confessions bolster you to turn and listen to the Father the first time.  The school of hard knocks is not what I recommend.

Thanks for reading.  To God be the glory!!

~Kaitlynn Marie

Back to Simplicity

Slowing down and finding the stillness has been a good thing for me this week. I've felt out of control. The Lord is showing me once again that {thankfully} I don't have to need to be in control. I'm switching majors again.... This time I think will be permanent.

I know that I'm not an academic....yes I am a learner, a person who likes to learn things. But classrooms and textbooks don't inspire me. And as hard as I've tried, I cannot live life uninspired. Maybe there are people who can, but I am not one of them. Which is absolutely okay! :)

I'm switching my major back to agricultural science. There I won't have to take as much science or chemistry, and I might, just might actually graduate next year. I've never been able to see myself graduating before... {chuckle}. But now I can.

Don't be afraid to live YOUR life. The 1 life that God has given you.


Until next time
Kaitlynn Marie