Hopefully I don't fall asleep before I finish this post! I pitched hay covered in mud and alpaca poop for 7 hours today....lets just say that my body is one huge blister, my shoulders might just pop out of their sockets, and my head is pounding. But all is well. My heart is at rest, and a hard day's work is something to be proud of!
I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time in my life this year! It all went well and without a hitch! God continues to bless me with this apartment and every single one of our 5 couches!
My parents and little brother drove up on Wednesday. Dad is the cook in our family (seriously, he is a goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood cook. not. even. over-exaggerating.) so he brought most of the food. I supplied cranberry sauce :) My poor kitchen is still feeling the effects of his-er-organic?-way-of-approaching-cooking = a huge mess. But you can't argue with facts that the food tastes delicious.
Sometimes my family is hard to spend a lot of time with, but again I was blessed with sweet time with my parents this week. My aunt came over for Thanksgiving, as well as her 4 children....(well 2 adults, 2 children...technically, but we consider them all children..haha..yeahh) All in all there were 12 of us in my little 900 sq ft apartment. But with 5 couches and 2 awesome swively chairs, plus a huge coffee table, it all worked out.
Thursday my aunt asked us if we'd like to go black friday shopping??? My dad and I said, "Sure, why not?!" Oh. my. goodness. It was crazy, fun, cold, and we did find some amazing deals. We were up too late, (went to bed at 1:30 after hitting Walmart, Target, Old Navy, and Kohls), then got up way too early (to go to BiMart, KMart, Big 5, and Joannes), but it was fun. We're not really serious shoppers, but we did get some crazy stuff, and had a good time doing it. We may have made it out of Target with everything on our list before everyone had even made it inside (15 minutes, people.. I don't know how we did that.), and we may have cut in front of 500 people at Kohls (except it wasn't cutting, b/c those 500 people weren't standing in line. Word of advise...the ladies at the jewelry counter were never told they could only check out people with jewelry... hehehe.) So yeah, it was a good week, a long week, but yeah.
Just thought I'd post an update.
Unfortunately my family didn't see the need to stop and really ponder the meaning of giving thanks, or to give the glory to God. It's hard being a light to people you know so well, to people who think they're living the Christian life...but really, they're not. Lord willing, next year will look different. But for the here and now I won't regret what didn't happen. I will still thank the Lord and give Him the glory. If only for the fact that no one ran out of the house screaming at each other. Yes, I am at peace. And I am thankful for that.
How was your Thanksgiving? Was there something that made this year stick out from memories past?
Thank you for reading.
Have a blessed day,
Kaitlynn Marie
Saturday, November 26
Tuesday, November 22
The Ugliness Inside
Sometimes, my walk with Jesus isn't pretty. In fact, sometimes it's ugly. I become a self-centered daughter. I become a danger to myself and others. For a long time I walked around with the ugliness disguised as beauty. The darkness trying to only reflect the light, not actually being light.
2 weekends ago Mar and I had the great pleasure of being Cabin Leaders at the Fall Retreat for our College Ministry. I guess I should back up. Looking back at it now, it was a pleasure. When we found out 2 days before the retreat started that we were going to be leaders, our response was much different. Hahaha... We lead a small group (a.k.a small bible study for women) through the college ministry we attend, and so we were automatically put into the pool of people signed up to be leaders.
240 college-aged students attended Fall Retreat. Each cabin had 10 people, with only a few having 11. Each cabin is paired up with a cabin of the opposite gender to be a group. They then eat dinner together and hang out and just have fun. (I also think it's a ploy to get everyone married..hahaha. Our leadership says that they don't run a dating service, but sometimes..sometimes I'm not sure what they're thinking.)
So yeah. Mar and I find out that we're going to be cabin leaders and we think, "Oh crap. What in the world does that mean and what are we supposed to do." Mar is a middle school leader, and I've taught Sunday school classes...to little kids. Neither of us had any experience with people our own age. We turned it over to God and prayed, "Not for our glory, but for Yours."
:) It's amazing how God always knows what He's doing. You think we'd have figured it out by now...but sometimes we don't.
The Lord spoke to me Saturday night and told me that I was supposed to share my testimony. The whole ugly truth of it that makes it His. So I did...of course I asked every other person in our cabin if they wanted to share...multiple times, but when the lull of conversation came I knew. And then I took the plunge. I revealed to the 10 other girls in my cabin the darkness I had overcome. The darkness I had only shared with one other person in my entire life. Luckily she was sitting beside me, holding my hand.
My chains were broken, and it was at that moment that I really was set free. Even more amazing, was the fact that because I had said, "Okay, God this is for you." He used it to open up girls that I don't think would have. We learned from each other that we all have deep hurts...we're all just pretty good at hiding it. We stayed up until 1 o'clock in the morning. We cried and prayed over almost every girl in the cabin. It was amazing.
The truth will set you free. I've said this before, and people have rebuked me. But I will not be silent. The pain in confession is nothing compared to the love of the Redeemer.
I am amazed that the ugliness that I felt defined me for so long is simply gone. Of course there time that a little part of the ugliness tries to come back. But it is so. much. simpler. to. tell the. enemy. no. now. Seriously.
In my housechurch a few weeks ago we talked about names. We were asked what names the world has given us and what names has the Lord given us. My name, it means "Pure". That right there... it gives me hope that the Lord still has a plan for my life. He knew that I would need that reminder. In Jesus I am pure, whole, and loved.
What are the secrets that you are ashamed of? That you don't want anyone to find out about? Those are the ones that your Abba [Father] wants you to give up to Him. That heavy burden you've been carrying on your shoulders? It shouldn't be there. Cast your cares upon the Lord. Cast your cares like a rod when you fish. If you're still holding onto the lure, then how far do you think your line will go? There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thanks for reading, and until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie
2 weekends ago Mar and I had the great pleasure of being Cabin Leaders at the Fall Retreat for our College Ministry. I guess I should back up. Looking back at it now, it was a pleasure. When we found out 2 days before the retreat started that we were going to be leaders, our response was much different. Hahaha... We lead a small group (a.k.a small bible study for women) through the college ministry we attend, and so we were automatically put into the pool of people signed up to be leaders.
240 college-aged students attended Fall Retreat. Each cabin had 10 people, with only a few having 11. Each cabin is paired up with a cabin of the opposite gender to be a group. They then eat dinner together and hang out and just have fun. (I also think it's a ploy to get everyone married..hahaha. Our leadership says that they don't run a dating service, but sometimes..sometimes I'm not sure what they're thinking.)
So yeah. Mar and I find out that we're going to be cabin leaders and we think, "Oh crap. What in the world does that mean and what are we supposed to do." Mar is a middle school leader, and I've taught Sunday school classes...to little kids. Neither of us had any experience with people our own age. We turned it over to God and prayed, "Not for our glory, but for Yours."
:) It's amazing how God always knows what He's doing. You think we'd have figured it out by now...but sometimes we don't.
The Lord spoke to me Saturday night and told me that I was supposed to share my testimony. The whole ugly truth of it that makes it His. So I did...of course I asked every other person in our cabin if they wanted to share...multiple times, but when the lull of conversation came I knew. And then I took the plunge. I revealed to the 10 other girls in my cabin the darkness I had overcome. The darkness I had only shared with one other person in my entire life. Luckily she was sitting beside me, holding my hand.
My chains were broken, and it was at that moment that I really was set free. Even more amazing, was the fact that because I had said, "Okay, God this is for you." He used it to open up girls that I don't think would have. We learned from each other that we all have deep hurts...we're all just pretty good at hiding it. We stayed up until 1 o'clock in the morning. We cried and prayed over almost every girl in the cabin. It was amazing.
The truth will set you free. I've said this before, and people have rebuked me. But I will not be silent. The pain in confession is nothing compared to the love of the Redeemer.
I am amazed that the ugliness that I felt defined me for so long is simply gone. Of course there time that a little part of the ugliness tries to come back. But it is so. much. simpler. to. tell the. enemy. no. now. Seriously.
In my housechurch a few weeks ago we talked about names. We were asked what names the world has given us and what names has the Lord given us. My name, it means "Pure". That right there... it gives me hope that the Lord still has a plan for my life. He knew that I would need that reminder. In Jesus I am pure, whole, and loved.
What are the secrets that you are ashamed of? That you don't want anyone to find out about? Those are the ones that your Abba [Father] wants you to give up to Him. That heavy burden you've been carrying on your shoulders? It shouldn't be there. Cast your cares upon the Lord. Cast your cares like a rod when you fish. If you're still holding onto the lure, then how far do you think your line will go? There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thanks for reading, and until next time,
Kaitlynn Marie
Wednesday, November 2
Compassion
My history with Compassion is a long one. I have been a part of sponsoring kids through Compassion since I was in 2nd grade. My church at home sponsored a child that was a year older than me until he was 16 when he left the program.
I then had the pleasure of researching the next two children that my church/youth group would sponsor. A 14 year old girl from Africa, and a 5 year old boy from India.
Sponsoring a child through Compassion is $38 a month. By providing $38 a month, you are giving a child a chance to survive and thrive.
I toured around the country singing and dancing for Jesus with a group called the Young Continentals for 12 weeks in middle school. We were a partner with Compassion. Every night I shared the gospel and asked people to support a child, and yet I wasn't willing to let the Lord work in my life and provide.
I look back at all of the time that I could have spent pouring into a child, supporting a child, and it makes me sad. I always told myself "You're a middle schooler, you don't have money to do that." or "You a freshman in college, you really don't have any money."
I can truly tell you that supporting a child through Compassion has been one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. Even though I was an advocate for so long, I never imagined how a relationship with a child would affect me personally.
Kenneth has asthma. He lives in Villa Nueva, Nicaragua where most adults earn an equivalent of $68 a month and are unemployed..
The $38 a month I proved is half as much as his mother makes.
A sponsorship allows Compassion to:
- Provide Kenneth with Bible teaching,
- A Bible,
- Medical check-ups (especially necessary b/c of his asthma problem),
- Nutritious food,
- Hygiene education,
- Special celebrations,
- Recreational activities,
- Tutoring,
- School uniforms,
- Shoes,
- and Academic support.
- Also the local staff will provide monthly meetings and evangelistic home visits for Kenneth's mom.
It's not just Kenneth that thrives from my support. My heart has been greatly touched. One of the great things that we can do with our sponsored children is write letters. When was the last time you wrote a letter? Not an email or a memo or even a Christmas card, but a letter. There's something about seeing the words that your child has written in their own language.
Letters between Kenneth and I take about 3 months to process, be shipped, and then actually received. I'd like to share with you the last letter I got from him.
Hello dear sponsor Kaitlynn!
May God bless you. I'm very thankful for writing to you again. I hope that you are in good health and your family, praise God. Now I'm in 3rd grade. I feel very happy because I was congratulated at the project because I'm very intelligent. I had medical check up and I did very well and we're being given foliar extract to avoid anemia. there will be a dental C.I.V from the project. We're going to be taken to a clinic specialized in teeth. Have you taken foliar extract? Are you afraid of going to the dentist? We are taught more about God at the project and about how to protect the animals. The teachers of the project teaches us about the clay from which we were made and that God shapes our lives like clay. Do you know the clay? Has God shaped your life? I close this letter with much affection. I ask you to always pray for me. Here, I'll be praying for you.
Your child,
KennethBy the time I was finished reading this letter through, my eyes were no where near dry. You see, this child has captured my heart. This little 8 year old boy has already gotten to the heart of the issue. Do you know the clay? Has God shaped your life?
Yes. Yes I know the clay! God has indeed shaped my life! It's a never ending process, but yes I'm living it.
If Kenneth can have such faith in his circumstances, shouldn't our faith be so much more abundant? I believe that there are many of us who really can support a child. I'm asking you to step up. I'm asking you to impact the life of a child around the world in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine.
My stopping block before was fear. The reason this post has been sitting in my drafts for over a month was because of fear.
It's simple. It's strange. It's obvious. We. can't. live. our. lives. in. fear. Truly. It's something I've struggled with for a long time. Fear of many different things. Tonight I'm letting the love of the Father drown out all the fear. His love is enough to reach across eternity and provide me with $38 a month. His love is enough.
{Thanks for reading. If you'd be praying for me? Drowning out fear in my life is going to be a multi-step process back to the Father. Handing over the reins again is going to take time. I'll be coming back here to share my thoughts, journey, and whatever the Lord puts on my heart. Is there anything that you need prayer for? What is especially hard in your life right now? Sweet dreams and until next time -Kaitlynn }
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