Love is a verb.

Hello, dear friends!  My church just finished a week of Prayer and Fasting.  Hallelujah!  I am blessed beyond measure to be a
part of a church body that is seeking God every single day.  The Lord moved through our lives in big ways this year, and I am still trying to get it all straight. 
This year Calvary offered a prayer meeting every morning, noon, and evening.  I made it to five of the six morning offerings and six of the seven evening prayer meetings.  The Lord is good, the Lord is good, the Lord is awesome!  Posturing yourself before the Lord in humility with a humble heart is where God works. 

At every prayer meeting we have half an hour of worship, and then half an hour of prayer in small(ish) groups.  During the mornings, usually you pray with two or three other people, and then in the evenings, our group prayers include anywhere from three to seven additional people.  This year the theme that kept reappearing was God's desire for our whole hearts. 

My heart at the beginning of this week was pretty twisted, scarred, and broken.  Over and over again God showed me that it was that way because I was holding onto things that I had no business holding onto.  God did a lot of amazing work in my life, my mind, and my heart this week.  One of the best things happened Friday night though. 

Marz and I were in a prayer circle, and our leader, Ron, had asked us all to give thanks to the Lord in a circle.  After we had all finished, he said that he believed the Lord had laid two words on him for 2 people during prayer, and that the Lord had then laid a 3rd.  He shared the first two, and then he turned to me.  I have never had a word from the Lord spoken over me, and it was amazing.  I'll try my best to remember what he said,

"Kaitlynn, the Lord has showed me some sort of glass, something that you can see through, but not clearly.  Almost like a veil.  You are on one side and God is on the other side.  He loves you so much, He delights in you, but there's something in you that is blocking you from receiving God's love.  He wants you to know that He loves you so much, and that you aren't experiencing even a tiny bit of it." 
He also shared with me a scripture, but I can't remember what it was.

Before we went into our prayer circles on Friday night Rob, our pastor, had prayed over us that the Lord would work where we weren't even expecting Him to work.  This came totally out of left field for me.  But as soon as Ron started speaking to me, I knew that it was all true.  I knew that I wasn't allowing the Lord to shine His physical, mental, and spiritual love on me.  I was keeping His love at arm distance because I didn't believe I worthy. 
Going into Friday evening I was so joyful!  My heart was lighter than it had been in so long!  I felt confident in being a child of God, but I wasn't allowing Him to delight in me, to absolutely love me. 

Friday night after prayer the Lord really pressed into me and revealed to me that I wasn't allowing Him to show me His love because I wasn't accepting who I was.  I didn't want to feel His love because I didn't know what I was missing and I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. 

The LORD loves me!!!  He delights in me!!! He calls me beautiful!!!  I am His daughter and His precious jewel!!!

I guess part of me didn't want to believe most of the line above this for so long because I didn't want to be prideful, I didn't want to be noticed, and I just didn't believe it.  But I do now. 

Do YOU know that the Lord loves you?!?!  Right now, whatever state your heart is in.  He loves you.  Period.  He wants to pour out His blessings and love on you. 

There's lots of changes coming in my life, and I'm excited to see them! 

Until next time,
Kaitlynn