Cutting the apron strings

photo credit

Today is my 6 month anniversary of being Facebook free!!!  Today, my last ties to social media networking are being cut.  I was one of the first of my friends to join Facebook, back in my junior year of high school, and today I am going to be one of the first to leave.

People don't understand why I'm walking away from connection to the world.... but that's just it.  I don't want to be plugged in.  How can I work on being not of this world if my life is so consumed with being connected to the world.  I admit that I don't have all the answers.  I don't see what choosing this path will do for me in the long run.
But I do know that for me, this path, this choosing to turn off Facebook is me choosing the narrow path.  Matthew 7:13 and 14 says this:

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.   Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it."

I also really like the way that The Message words verse 14.

The way to life-to God!-is vigorous and requires total attention.

Total attention.  Every. single. ounce. of my being, of my strength.  Total attention is all encompassing.  It means that I'm giving everything to my Redeemer.  I will let nothing stand in the way of my relationship with Him and with the work that He has given me to complete.

I'm not at the point of 'total attention' yet.  But this is one more step of purposefully walking down the road that the Lord has assigned to me.  We've all been given different paths to follow, all narrow, and all leading to Jesus.  That's what we have to remember.  When we come around a bend to find downed trees in the middle of our country lane, it's not wisdom to leave the path and find a way around it.  Wisdom is camping down under the stars for a night and thinking about how Jesus made it through our downed trees.  He didn't stray from the path in order to find an easier route.    We have to stay the path we've been given.  Maybe that means we wait until God brings someone else down our country lane in order to help us pull the branches away, or maybe the Creator of Heaven and Earth will leave a chainsaw by our pillow in the middle of the night.  He will always provide a way, and provision along with it. 
Matthew 6: 25-30 (emphasis added)

 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?  Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;  and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

What can you scale down or eliminate in your life in order to let God have your total attention?
I'm working on my problem with unjust judgment and simplifying.


This is what the Lord says:
"Stand at the crossroads and look;
Ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is,
and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls."
~Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV)

-Kaitlynn Marie  

I Don't Hold the Gavel

In my house-church we've been going through the book of James.
At my college-group, we've been going through Matthew (specifically chapters 6 and 7). 

When God has something He wants to show you....He makes it pretty obvious.  I have been struggling with judging others.  I think the root of it can be found in the judgment I lay on myself for not meeting up to my own standards.  I don't know when it all started.  I can't pinpoint the moment.  It just did.

In Matthew 7 Jesus says,
“Judge not, that you be not judged.  For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NKJV)

-or-

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults-unless, of course, you want the same treatment.  That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.  It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own.  Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt?  It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. (The Message)


When we think about a judge (courtroom, fancy robes, lawyers & attorneys, security guards,etc.) there are a few attributes we hope that they possess, like impartiality and a sense of justice.  In a court of law, any bias or pre-conceived notion is intolerable.  I think it's interesting to compare that definition of a judge to my struggle with judging people.  I have a hard time giving people the benefit of the doubt, and I generally always have pre-conveived notions.  What is the difference between a court of law judge and myself?  I have not been created to be the judge of another's life.  

In trying to simplify my life and understand who I have been created to be and what I have been created to do, this problem with proclaiming judgment on others [in my heart alone, but still as offensive to the Father as out loud] has waged war on my heart.  It's plagued my waking hours and my dreams.  How do I stop the judging?

The first step: Asking for your prayer, as well as knowing that my wonderful brothers and sisters here beside me are holding me up.
The second step: Turning it over to God as soon as the creeping thought is caught.  James 3 talks about how the tongue cannot be tamed by man.  It is a definite, unchangeable fact.  There's nothing to interpret.  The tongue cannot be tamed by man.  This tongue of mine that speaks in my heart cannot be tamed by man either.     Jesus, the God-man: fully God and fully man, can control this wild tongue that has done damage to my heart and soul.  He can reseal the cracks I've caused and heal the broken pieces. 
The third step: Seeking those things that are pure and holy to fill the spaces where the brokenness is cleared out of.   Continuing to read and dig deeper into the God-breathed Word that I so often forget about or turn away from to instead fill with blogs or McLeod's Daughters, or Disney movies with friends.  


This point in my life is about changing the unhealthy habits, cleaning out the clutter, and finding the things to be thankful for in the process.


Anything that God's been pointing out to you lately that you need to change?  Whether you've been acknowledging it or not? 



 

continued...Important Things

1. My relationship with Jesus
     1a.  Updating my prayer notecard every week
     1b.  Savoring my quiet time every morning.
     1c.  Giving thanks
     1d.  Spend more time in meaningful worship.
2. Sleep
     2a.  Get 8 or more hours of sleep a night
3. School
     3a.  Use my planner
     3b.  Catch up on reading (...I have a lot)
     3c.  Start studying for finals/midterms...NOW!!
     3d.  Study for map quizzes/current events before Wednesday night.
     3e.  Catch up on math homework. 
4. Eating Healthy
     4a.  Plan meals!
     4b.  Incorporate more fruits and veggies!!
     4c.  Drink more water!
5. Relationships with roommates/siblings/family/friends
     5a.  Spend quality time with the people I love, and work on nurturing precious relationships.  

Right now, these are the important things... here are some extras though

1.  Simplifying the stuff in my life...(In fact, this weekend my bedroom is getting a makeover...as in everything not necessary or deemed unnecessary is either going in the trash or to Goodwill. I am blessed to have the best roommate in the world who has told me in no uncertain terms that she's helping me this weekend.  I've been out of control lately....and it shows in the most interesting places)
2.  Thinking before I react and before I open my mouth.


This weekend my goal is to catch up on mostly everything on my list.  I've been traveling or had company for the last month, so it will be nice to have a weekend with no agenda!!!

Have a blessed Friday!

Kaitlynn Marie :)

The Important Things in Life

Some of you know about my departure from Facebook.  Today marks the 5 month anniversary of my facebook-free life!  Do you want to know the truth?  I haven't missed it at all.  In fact I think on the first of June I'm going to delete it. 

At this stage in my life I'm really trying to filter through everything I choose to put my time and energy into.  Facebook was the first to be cut, and it won't be the last.  Not only am I moving into the process of filtering the activities I participate in, but also the things that fill up my space (aka bedroom/domain/theplacewhereeverythingmagicallygetslostinablackhole)  Do I really need 25 t-shirts? (Okay, that's a rough guess.... but it's somewhere around there)  Do I really have a need for 30 pens/pencils, books, notecards, movies, everything.

Where do you draw the line?  Or more importantly, where has God already drawn the line?  What are the things that I have to choose to give up so that I can be in the place God wants me?
How are the things that I choose to put into my life affecting how I react to life?  When something happens, how do I react?  How do the things I surround myself effect how I react?   I think that these are relevant questions,  hard questions, and they're worth digging into.

I heard the song What Do I Know of Holy on the radio this morning on my way to school.  It really made me stop and think.  What do I know of Holy?  All I know is that I'm a small town girl who is still figuring out how to live by faith every. single. day. 

Thank about it:  What in your life needs to be thrown out, sold, handed-down, or simply sorted through?  Is it your closet, your diet, habits, or just your relationship with Jesus that needs to be re-evaluated?  Take some time this week to really sit down and think it through, then act.  Do something about it. 

I went through my closet this week.  I donated 10 shirts, a pair of pants, and a pair of shorts that I don't wear very often.  Simple, yet it makes such an impact. 

Girl's Weekend

I'm super excited.  In about 4ish hours I will be on the road headed East to the middle of nowhere. :)  With two friends, our cowboy boots, and lots of warm clothes.  
This weekend is my roomate's family branding.  I got to go last year and had a fantastic time!!!  Tomorrow morning bright and early we have 200 head of cattle to vaccinate, tag, and castrate if necessary. (It's just the girls going this year...I'm sure we'll be put on vaccination duty again :)  We can't get in much trouble there ;) )
I'm excited for a fun-filled weekend of family, friends, ranching, and the beautiful outdoors.  It'll be interesting to see how God chooses to work this weekend, and to see what we all have to learn.
Have a wonderful weekend!

Pray

It's the very least we can do in light of what's going on in Washington right now.

here, here, and here are some links with information. 

Learning is something that never fades away...

It's spring break.  The one week interlude that is a haven for college students around the world.  I've been home this week...reading.  Reading is what I do.  It is part of what defines me.  I am a read-er.  Some say that it ruins my eyes, others that a book can't change a life.  OH, how I disagree. 

What is the one single book that has sold the most copies throughout time? 
What book, translated into countless languages has stood the test of time?
The BIBLE.

My roommate and I are on a journey.  For the past 55 days (and for the next 35) we have been issued a challenge to read through the Bible.  In it's entirety.  90 days.  3 months.  Can it change a life?  I know it already has.

Beginning this week, as I stay in the home of my parents, I am loathe to say that I forgot our challenge.  Not a single thought entered my mind of what and Who I should be dedicating my morning, noon, and nights to.  And then, a quiet whisper.  All came rushing back.  This spring break doesn't have to be like the others.. It doesn't have to be like previous Christmas breaks that I felt my heart aching.  This one can be different. 

And so I'm reading.  I've had much to catch up on the past two days, and much to reflect on in my heart.  I love the quiet, small things that God uses to shift our world. 
Like I said, I'm a reader.  I read: books, blogs, instructions, recipes... It's how I think best, with a book in my hand.  So along with my catching up on God's Word, I decided to also dive into words that He guided others to write...Fiction.

I'm a reader...specifically I enjoy historical, Biblical fiction.  Before I left my small college town for this break, I ventured to the library and borrowed 7 books.  Four have been read before, checked out to again discover the journey of those who've walked before us.  Within the books, I have found two jewels that in the past I simply passed over.  For whatever reason, I never gave them a chance. 
The A.D Chronicles by Bodie & Brock Theone

It's amazing how a book can help you to remember the things you always knew.  As the old adage goes, "Out of sight, out of mind."  My question is 'how can I keep these things daily in my mind?'  I think I know the answer. 

8  Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.9  The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

~Philippians 4:8-9

My daily walk will most assuredly look different than yours.  I am a reader you see, and so I must read to remember at times.  I must surround myself with those things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and of good repute.  I need to SEE the truths of the prophets, of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  I need to READ today, tomorrow, and forever the commandments that El'Elyon handed down to Moses.   I am of the flesh, and I quickly forget.  I am like the Israelites who time after time after time forgot the miraculous wonders that El Shaddai did for them... I like them forget that the Lord led us out of Egypt.  So how can I remember?  Surrounding myself with words is my goal.  Words to read.  Words to cause me to remember, and to for eternity be able to draw up in my times of need, of sorrow, of wandering in the desert, in times of peace, and in times of stillness. 
It's not just about walking through this life, it's about walking with a purpose.

Can I become a child again?  Can I travel back to the time when I sat in AWANA every Monday night and faithfully committed His Words to heart?  Can I find those Words again, buried underneath the rubble of life?  Only tomorrow, and the days following will tell for sure. 
And so this path, this life, this walk, continues.  Bending and twisting my path may be, but I find comfort in the fact that I do not walk in the darkness.  I walk in the Light of the One who came to save the world. 

Joy: In God's Will

Now that I've shared about my change in career paths, I'll share with you what has been going on in the time since then!

In September I changed my major to General Agriculture.  I felt that God was leading me there, and everything made sense and fit into place!  I can see now part of what God was doing. (I don't dare even think that I know everything God was doing.. remember.. this is GOD we're talking about.  Omnipotent, omnipresent.. yeah, you get the picture..)  One of the general requirements for Gen Ag is that you take Animal Science 121, which is just Introduction to Animal Science.

I don't think I can comprehend how much I have truly enjoyed this class!  The lectures are so full of information, and the lab.  Oh the labs!  Practical, hands on experience with everything we cover in class!  Because of my time spent in 4-H/FFA growing up, as well as just living in a small ranching community, and my time spent devouring books over the course of my life, I can definitely say that I went into ANS121 with a basic, broad knowledge of most of the livestock species we were going to talk about.

Let me tell you that I have enjoyed every. single. lab.

Going into class, I knew that swine was not my favorite subject.  My siblings raised pigs in 4-H, and one of my best childhood friends had a pig farm... They're just not my favorite!   The pig lab (which just means we went to the pig facility owned by University during lab) took place after God spoke to me about my new path in life.  It just amazes me how He orchestrates every single little detail!  I drove to lab with a knot in my stomach.  I was sure that I wouldn't enjoy it, and that it would be the only lab to date that I didn't like.

The Lord's ways are not the ways of man.  To that I say hallelujah!  At the beginning of every lab, we spend about 30 minutes with business stuff: taking roll, going over terminology, filling out lab books, identifying tools, etc.  It amazed me how much of the information I actually knew, and how many questions I was able to answer.  Finally moving into the first facility, (Coincidence that it was the sows that had new litters?  Good thing I don't believe in coincidences!) I smiled and watched the little piglets nurse and sleep.  When we finally got to the pigs that will be sold as 4-H animals this spring, I was actually having a pretty good time!  My TAs like to do 'activities' in every lab.  The activity for this lab? Pig herding..  :)

Overall, I want to share with you the absolute joy I felt coming out of the lab!  I know that it was a joy that came from the Lord.  He opened my eyes to see that all are His creation. 

Once again, it amazes me how our Awesome God uses the instances we least expect to bring us closer to Him!

Sacrifices

This blog has always been about my walk with the Lord, and so here I am pleased to share with you the latest discovery of the path that He wants me to take. 
{He leads me beside the still waters!}
------

I can't believe that it's already week 8 of winter term here in the pacific northwest.  Time has flown by so fast!  These eight weeks have been good weeks.  Through them I have begun to discover a little more about where my life is headed, and I've been growing closer and closer to God.

About four weeks ago, we participated in a week of prayer and fasting at our church.  Mar and I attend a Calvary Chapel, and the week of prayer and fasting has been going on for a while now.. although I'm not sure exactly how long! Some people haven't ever heard of fasting ( or they don't think it's possible to not eat for 7 days ), some people think it's just weird, and others (most being "Christians") just don't understand.  I don't want to get into all of the reasons and aspects of it, but here is a helpful link if you'd like to pursue learning more about it. 

During the week of fasting, God met me in a very special way.  It continues to amaze me how our Big God who created the universe with a single command chooses to reveal Himself to us in a sweet, small voice.  One of the themes of the week for me was "being broken and poured out".  God really wanted to get across to me how it displeases Him that I rely on myself for a lot of things.  He showed me how He wanted to be the One filling me up and overflowing me.  I've struggled in the past with not feeling like I'm "good enough", but once again the Lord has provided.  During one day, in the midst of my quiet time, the Lord spoke to me and told me that I am going to be a veterinarian.  W.o.w.  It wasn't an audible voice, it wasn't a text message, it was me seeking His face, and He answering through the communication of hearts.

I prayed for about 3 hours that day (I don't think I had class....) and asked God to show me what that was going to look like.  I asked Him for open doors, and for people to be raised up around me in support!  I cannot count the times since then that the Lord has reestablished a deep knowing in me that this is what He wants me to do!  Through speakers at my college group, worship sessions, church, house church, my parents, Mar, advisers... it goes on and on.

For those of you who don't know me very well, I'll lay it down straight for ya.  My goal since I knew I was coming to college was to come, get a degree as fast as possible, meet my husband, and then go on my merry way.  That was my goal still until 4 weeks ago.  The Lord has chosen to make my life about veterinary science...for those of you who don't know.. you have to have a bachelors to get into vet school (4ish years)..and vet school is either a 3 or 4 year program, depending on the school...  This is just another point where I am absolutely confident that the this is what the Lord wants me to do.  I have never wanted to go into medicine (although I've always loved animals, and being a vet was a dream of mine as a little girl.  unfortunately, my sister also wanted to be a vet..so I said I wanted to be a teacher.. haha). 

Vet school requires a high GPA, which is something that at the moment, I don't have.  I had a term last spring that, well..I'll just say it won't happen again.  It won't happen again because now I have a goal, and I have the assurance of a God who will not leave me throughout this process.  I know that He who planted the seed will come back to reap it!  The next 6 or 7 years of my life are going to be entirely devoted to God and Veterinary work.  Every single day for me will be a day of coming to the Lord and asking to be filled up.  I know that I cannot do this myself.  Just looking at all the classes I have to take, I know that they'll be a struggle.  But I know that this whole journey will be accomplished through the work of the Most High God. 

For that I am deeply thankful, and eternally humble.  He chose me! :)  Not qualified, not a 'farm girl' but at heart.  Rejoice for the Lord is good.  His love endures forever! 

Walking out in faith, taking that first step, is always the hardest.  But if it's God's will, it will ultimately be the most rewarding!  What is God trying to show you or tell you today that you haven't been willing to hear in the past? 

Mathew 7:7-
"Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you."

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still water.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.


Three weeks ago, this Psalm became personal.  Instead of being an observer, a reader....I was the sheep.  For those that don't know, sheep are absolutely dependent upon humans.  Of all the domesticated animals, they are the only that are 100% reliant upon their masters for food, shelter, and safety.  If left alone in the wild, it would be nearly impossible for them to survive.  I am a sheep.  I'm a prey animal.  I am helpless.  I am needy.  I have the Loving Master as my shepherd.  He gave His life so that I could live.  I have nothing to fear.  I know that when The Shepherd leads me into the valley of the shadow of death, I have no reason to tremble in fright, for the Lord is with me. 

It's amazing how much more insight I have now on this much recited Psalm after working in the Sheep Center here.  I'm volunteering during the lambing season, and I see every time I go to work how dependent sheep are on their shepherds.  I, Katie, am their shepherd.  Why would I let them to suffer or go hungry or become cold?  The Lord says the same to us.  He doles out our food every morning and evening, and He loves us.  He cares for us, and spends time with us.  He knows our ways and what our favorite spot to scratch is. 

Be of good cheer, for the Lord God is with you. 

-Kaitlynn Marie